Cheap Seats

Snow use

Hockey fans in Denver looking for tickets to Colorado Avalanche games are getting their wires crossed - or at least are getting lost when they let their fingers do the walking.

They’re calling the Colorado Avalanche Information Center - the clearing house for news about snowslides in the Rockies.

“We handle about two every hour,” said forecaster Scott Toepfer. “We have the phone number (of the Avalanche ticket office) taped to the phone so we can give it to them. On the answering machine, we say we’re the snow guys, not the hockey guys.”

The Library over America

Idle minds being the devil’s workshop, the Chicago Bulls’ well-read coach, Phil Jackson, opens his personal bookmobile for players every road trip.

The reading list for the Bulls’ current six-game swing? James Edwards got “Fallen Angels” by Walter Dean Myers, Steve Kerr got “A Thief of Time” by Tony Hillerman and Randy Brown got “House on Mango Street” by Sandra Cisneros.

Some players, like rookie Jason Caffey, forgot their titles. “I heard there will be a book report due when we get to Vancouver,” he said. “It’s a little book. I’ll read it in San Antonio.” Lots of time to read on the bench, Jason.

And then there was center Luc Longley. “I didn’t get one,” Longley said. “I don’t think he likes me.”

Dennis Rodman’s book? “Sex,” by Madonna, of course.

Good thing Benjamin Dover doesn’t race

After ESPN began covering NASCAR’s Winston Cup series, Dan Patrick, one of the “SportsCenter” hosts, discovered Dick Trickle (Beavis: Huh, huh.”).

For unstated reasons, Patrick latched on to Trickle, who at 48 was NASCAR’s oldest rookie of the year in 1989, and began to mention Trickle at every turn.

It isn’t unusual for Patrick to say something like: “Today at Dover, Jeff Gordon won another Winston Cup race, and Dick Trickle finished 23rd.”

Trickle soaks up the attention. “I think it’s a plus,” he said. “I think a lot of people get a pretty good kick out of it. It means I’m getting national attention every week. My daddy used to say, ‘As long as they’re talking about you, it ain’t too bad.”’

Welcome wagon

As part of a $500 million development, Gary, Ind., is proposing to build a 75,000-seat stadium to attract the Chicago Bears. The site is adjacent to an industrial wasteland that includes 57 storage tanks and a cleanup facility. Across the street from the proposed site is Truck City, where mechanic Bill Manoski offers this slogan on a sign: “Move the Bears to Gary, Murder Capital, U.S.A., or we’ll kill you.”

Tedia in the media

Philadelphia Flyers center Eric Lindros has been relegated to watching games from the press box because of an injury. His report: “You guys are boring. I guess you’re not allowed to cheer or whatever, but that’s no way to watch a hockey game.”

Maybe Bill Conlin of the Inquirer could goon it up to keep Eric entertained.

OK, so it was a late call

Here’s one more reason to worry about those replacement referees: One of them, Lamont Simpson, called a foul last week on “No. 14 of the Celtics.”

That would be all right, except that No. 14 hasn’t been worn in Boston since 1963, when Hall-of-Fame guard Bob Cousy retired.

The last word …

“The Kansas City Chiefs remind me of my golf game. Whenever I get a par, it doesn’t say on the scorecard how I got there, just that I got there.”

- NBC football analyst Paul Maguire

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo