Ghouls, Go Away! It Is Important To Recognize That Halloween Can Be A Scary Time For Young Children

Your child spends weeks asking if it’s time to wear the silver Hershey’s kiss costume and aluminum-foil cap. But when the time comes to put it on, she hesitates, sniffles and creates a scene scarier than anything you remember from your trick-or-treating past.

Many preschool children are frightened of celebrating Halloween, Dallas psychologist Mary Ann Little says. “For one thing, when you’re between 2 and 5 years old, you can’t always distinguish between real and unreal.

“Kids are frightened of anything that looks different from what is,” she says.

In her book, “Loving Your Children Better - Matching Parenting Strategies to the Age and Stage of Your Children,” Little advises parents to do different things for children at different developmental stages. For example, the appearance of monsters in Maurice Sendak’s “Where the Wild Things Are” may give some children “a feeling of empowerment over their fears.” It may cause others to cry.

“Pay attention to your child’s cues,” Little says. “If he is frightened of something, respect his feelings and don’t push him to participate.”

The fact that people dress up as someone else plays into a common fear among preschool children. “Just the fact that Aunt Susie dresses up in a costume and does not look like herself anymore can be particularly frightening to a child under the age of 6,” Little says.

Preschool children are not always comfortable with the pretend nature of Halloween, she says. “To them, it is frightening to see the world as unfamiliar … filled with unfamiliar faces, unfamiliar clothes and behaving in unfamiliar ways. That’s pretty scary.”

One way to work through these common childhood fears, child psychologist Richard Long says, is to assure children that “dressing up in a costume and mask is a form of play.

“By framing it as play, the child sees disguising himself as pretend, and it becomes more palatable,” he says.

Here are some psychologists’ tips for helping children with Halloween fears:

Accompany them on trick-or-treat outings.

Talk through the trick-or-treating process with them. Reassure them that you will be with them as they go to a stranger’s door and ask for a treat.

Check the treats they receive. Avoid unwrapped candy or whole oranges and apples.

Discourage children from wearing ghoulish masks or costumes like Freddy Krueger.

If children choose to wear a costume, select one that represents a positive role model, such as Superman, Batman, Pocahontas, Aladdin or Cinderella.

If children are afraid of wearing a complete costume, suggest they wear only a cape or crown.

To help children differentiate between real and unreal, parents should avoid wearing masks or excessive make-up.

Avoid participating in frightening trick-or-treat rituals, such as saying, “Boo!” or “Beware of the Boogie Man!” or “Someone is going to get you!”

Consider optional ways to celebrate Halloween, such as school carnivals, parties or simple family celebrations like roasting marshmallows and singing songs and sharing candy.

Be sensitive to a child’s needs. The noise, excitement and unfamiliarity of Halloween may be too much. Don’t overexpose a child to experiences and feelings he can’t handle. Celebrate Halloween another year when your child is more mature.