The Slice Are You Big Enough To Be The Arena?

Haven’t decided what you want to wear for Halloween?

Well, consider going as a building. You’re sure to be the life of the party if you show up as the STA Plaza, Spokane Arena or the Riverfront Park Science Center. Er, well, you get the idea.

Or what about going as an issue? You could be an asthma patient during grass-burning. Or you and your special someone could team up and design an eye-catching “City/ County Consolidation” costume.

How about getting together with three friends and some mousse and going as a Spokane TV news team?

Calling all conspiracy buffs: What’s your wildest, most delusional explanation for some Inland Northwest state of affairs? You know, Momentum agents put something in the water to influence voters, the residents of Post Falls act the way they do because they secretly are pod people, et cetera.

We’ll print the best brief conspiracy theories.

On the streets of Spokane: “The best excuse used to get out of a ticket came from my 16-year-old daughter,” wrote Kay Harris. “After being pulled over for speeding up South Grand at night, she told the officer it wasn’t her car and she wasn’t used to driving it and every time she slowed down the lights dimmed and she was afraid they would go out. It worked!”

Context is everything: A reader named Iris noted that saying someone “Lives up on the hill” has two altogether different meanings in Spokane and Medical Lake.

OK, the affliction isn’t a joking matter, but don’t pretend you don’t know exactly what he means: “When watching a talk show on the subject of Tourette syndrome, my 9-year-old son, Drew, commented ‘I think everyone at my school has that.’ ” - Lori Marzetta

Worst nickname: Calgary Hit Men of the Western Hockey League.

Today’s Slice question: When coworkers happen to bump into you over the weekend and see you in your casual clothes, they tend to be: a.) appalled. b. ) aroused. c.) amused. d.) not surprised in any way because you’re attired exactly the way you dress for work.

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.