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It’s all in chest

Buffalo Bills coach Marv Levy certainly does not have cancer in his funny bone. The 70-year-old Levy was explaining to male reporters that taking hormones was an option in dealing with his prostate cancer, for which he had surgery last week.

“But hormones have considerable side effects,” Levy explained. “One of them is growing breasts. While I like (them) as much as you guys, I don’t like them on me.”

Kicking him when he’s down

When the minor heart ailment afflicting NBA underachiever Derrick Coleman became public last week, the initial reaction was predictable enough: Derrick Coleman has a heart?

So it wasn’t surprising when Jayson Williams, Coleman’s teammate on the Nets, took his shot. After expressing sincere concern over the condition, Williams even widened his dig to cover former Nets stiff Benoit Benjamin.

“I’m going to call Derrick and tell him to get a pacemaker, a turbocharged one,” Williams said. “Just make sure it’s not the Benoit model or he’ll always be three plays behind.”

In his emerging role as the Nets’ top quipster, Williams said recent contract negotiations “got a little nasty” and added, “they took all the bones out of my closet. I never knew I was such a bad guy. I felt like I needed an exorcism.”

Williams also was perplexed by his free-agent tour of Chicago. The day after the Bulls gave Williams a 4-hour psychological test, Chicago opted instead for Dennis Rodman. “I might be a little crazy, but I’m not as crazy as Rodman,” Williams said. “Four hours? I take the test and the next day they get Dennis? I wonder how I really did.”

No so sly

Sylvester Stallone never blinked during those Hollywood staredowns with Apollo Creed. Rocky was no match for the Old Course at St. Andrews, however.

After a day’s practice at Scotland’s premiere golf destination last week - Sly was scheduled to pair up with Ernie Els in a pro-am the next day - Stallone admitted he was frightened of playing the course.

“I’ve never played in a pro-am before. I’m scared,” the actor said Tuesday, bucking strong winds. “Scotland should be the world leaders in kite-making. You could fly the whole country in this wind.”

Stallone failed to show Wednesday - standing up a throng of movie fans who found time to attend.


With the New England Patriots in the depths of a five-game losing streak before ending it with a 27-14 win over Buffalo Monday night, some hot new reading hit Boston bookstores: Coach Bill Parcells’ new motivational book entitled, “Finding a Way To Win.”

The last word …

“It’s hard to get a read when you’re drinking beers and watching playoff games.”

- Sonics coach George Karl, backing off his earlier statement that Michael Jordan appeared to be out of shape in the playoffs

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo