How To Manage Anger On The Job

What do you do when you get angry at work? Do you seethe in silence over an appraisal that was less than glowing? Do you lash out when peers don’t respond quickly to your written requests for information? Or do you simply deny your anger and pretend everything is OK?

Experts say it’s time to look at anger in a different light. Instead of suppressing it or blowing up, experts encourage use of anger as a strategic tool to solve problems or as a catalyst for making an important change in your professional life.

“Anger tells you that something is wrong,” says psychologist Hendrie Weisinger, author of “Anger at Work: Learning the Art of Anger Management on the Job” (William Morrow, $20). “It should motivate you to take corrective action.”

Laurie Anderson, an Oak Park, Ill., psychologist agrees. “Anger is a way of saying, ‘There’s a problem here,’ either with a professional relationship that’s breaking down or with an organizational structure that’s impeding your ability to get things done,” she says.

Today there seems to be a surplus of anger in workplaces across America, thanks to downsizings that have forced employees to do more with fewer resources and reduced opportunities for advancement. Then there is routine anger - at bosses who are rude, colleagues who are unreliable, clients who are unreasonable - that most employees experience at one time or another.

So how can you manage anger? Experts offer these guidelines:

Shift your perception. “People need to morph their concept of anger from something that’s negative into something that’s positive,” Weisinger says. “They have to recognize anger as a cue,” to take some action. Angry about being bypassed for two promotions? Perhaps it’s time to look for a new job. Peeved that a colleague continually fails to follow through on assignments that slow your work? It may be time to confront her.

Use appropriate techniques. Anger operates on mental, emotional and physiological levels, so use effective tactics, says Weisinger. Before entering an anger-provoking situation, be sure your mental soundtrack is repeating positive statements such as “I can handle this.” If you feel your temper flare, try to delay important problem-solving until you’ve had a chance to reflect on what you’ll say say. To quiet a racing heart and quell perspiration, breathe deeply and slowly and extend your arms to improve circulation. Give yourself a 10-second neck massage to reduce tension.

Don’t explode. Screaming discharges anger and may command some short-term benefit by motivating others to swift action. But it’s not an effective long-term strategy because it doesn’t address the root cause of your anger, and it may earn you a reputation for being temperamental. It’s OK, however, to express your anger through a firm tone of voice or by slapping your hand on the table for emphasis, Weisinger says.

React promptly. “When you get angry at work, ask yourself, ‘What is the best thing to do?”’ says Weisinger. “This helps you corral the arousal of anger into an energy that will provide direction. If a co-worker’s behavior is making you angry … the best thing to do is confront the situation. Suppressing anger won’t resolve it, and it won’t change your colleague’s behavior. So you need to say something like, ‘Jane, when you stretch deadlines on X material, I have less time to finish the report for my boss, which puts me in a bind. The delays must stop.”’

Deal with one issue at a time. When you channel your anger into problem-solving, don’t bring up a host of concerns, or “you’ll appear to be going on the attack,” Anderson warns. “Instead of saying, ‘Bob, why wasn’t I included in that meeting? Is it because of the problems we had on the ABC account,’ say, ‘Bob, I wasn’t included at the meeting, and I had information that was critical to the project. How do we ensure that this doesn’t happen again?”’