He’ll Never Get A Loaner Truck Again

A funny thing happened to CPD Blue Paul Burke on his way to a little R & R on Lake Coeur d’Alene. Seems he’d borrowed fellow officer Sean Lind’s 1972 Ford pickup. Everything was going fine until he tried to unload his personal watercraft at water’s edge. That’s when the brake failed, leaving Paul to watch helplessly as the pickup became part of the lake’s aquatic life. Afterward, some of Paul’s sympathetic buddies wondered what they should use to fish it out - spinner bait or a fly setup.

Hooking a customer: Owner Tom Knoll waxed enthusiastic when a customer asked if Tom’s SportCo Warehouse had maggots. Said he: “We have the most gorgeous maggots in Idaho. Do you want brown-eyed ones or blue-eyed ones?” … Remember the racist graffiti found at Coeur d’Alene Skate Park? Well, park fund-raiser Mark Williams tracked down the culprits through the skater network - all three of them. Two repented and worked on the park to repay their debt to fellow skaters. The third one copped another attitude. … Post Falls police weren’t overly concerned when this threat was found scribbled on a Seltice Elementary School bathroom wall: “I put a bomb in the scool.” The kid who wrote that probably bombs on his spelling tests, too.

Three-dog day: Patrons who enjoy Gittel Grocery’s 3-for-$1 hot dog power lunches went bunless early Thursday afternoon. The bread truck hadn’t arrived. And the busy clerk was beside himself. Too bad he didn’t look across the street where Snyder’s Thrift Store Bakery was running a 3-for-$1 special on bread. … Hmmm. Organizers of the Coeur d’Alene Cultural Center had an ulterior motive for ordering a railroad car for Saturday’s fund-raiser. Booze. The lounge car not only was appropriate (the center once was a railroad substation) but it sat on the Burlington Northern’s abandoned right of way - immune from the Booze Free Zone at adjacent City Park. Cheers.

What a blast: Lane Kendig, a Chicago land-use planner, has a sure-fire way to end scares from explosives plants, like the one we had Wednesday: “Put the explosives plant next to the courthouse,” he said. “Then, you’ll see how fast the bureaucrats move to fix the problem. (Hey, wait a minute, bub. The Kootenai County Courthouse is too close to the S-R office.) … Quote of the Week (I think): In praising the response to the explosives plant fire, emergency planner Roberta Black said: “I just want to thank everybody for hosting a marvelous disaster.”

Huckleberries: Bill Galvin hasn’t been able to use one of the gifts he received July 15 for his 70th birthday: helicopter skiing in the Cascades. … Typographically incorrect: Brad Ban’s mother was disappointed that the Kellogg newspaper didn’t mention her son’s Sept. 1 touchdown. So, she wrote a letter to the newspaper, and it was misprinted Sept. 7. In it, Mrs. Ban describes herself as “a parent with a player who dies well in his first game of the season.” Apparently, the family is taking it well? .. Run that by me again. On Tuesday, while most of us were inhaling legal field smoke, the Coeur d’Alene Fire Department was pinching a homeowner at Ramsey and Appleway - for torching a small pile of leaves and needles. Tisn’t the season, you know.

Parting shot: Now, U.S. Rep. “Give-‘em-Helen” Chenoweth is catching hell from Redbook. She’s one of about a dozen women named in the current edition to Redbook’s “Anti-Honor Roll.” The Idaho bomb-thrower apparently has embarrassed her Redbook sisters by flirting with the militia, serving sockeye salmon at fund-raisers, and supporting a bill that would discourage states from funding abortions. Said writer Gail Collins: “To make our list, a woman has to acquire the good things in life - money, fame, power, success - and then blow it. She has to let us down and, in the process, give us all a bad name.” In other words, H.C. isn’t p.c.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huck? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 667-8616.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D. F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review