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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Highway Work: No Pain, No Lane

D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Revi

Like the rest of us, the folks at Rose Lake Conoco are getting tired of all the road construction. Their frustration was captured in a cartoon tacked to the station wall under the caption: “Welcome to Idaho - the state where every highway eventually narrows to a single lane or is … DETOURED!” Simple drawings underneath pictured the state animal as “a barrier (saw)horse,” the state mineral as asphalt, the state flag as a flagger’s stop sign, the state motto as “single lane next 10 miles,” and the state joke as “men working.” If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry.

Got their goats: So, what’s riling the easily riled Hauser lakesiders this fine Monday? Goat murder. Seems a Hauser businessman tried to slaughter a goat for dinner recently but didn’t do a thorough job. According to an intrepid Hauser Thoughts reporter, the goat unsettled neighbors by screaming until it was beaten to death. Now, the locals want the slaughter of farm animals banned in the populated area. (The butcher wouldn’t be in this predicament if he had visited the Coeur d’Alene Greyhound Park, after hours, to practice his technique.)

Gotchas: Eagle-eyed Charley Lang of Hayden caught this boo-boo in a letter to the S-R editor from the Kootenai County commissioners. The Three Amigos said seniors and the disabled can qualify for tax breaks if their net income is less than $18,000. It’s gross income, boys. … FYI: Officially, Schweitzer Mountain Resort says general manager Curt Stewart quit because he and his wife didn’t take to the area. But my bloodhounds say Curt quit a day after he learned the mountain had sent out a job-search letter for his position. And a day before he was to close on a $400,000 house. Stay tuned.

The blue that binds: At a five-school meet a week ago, swim teams from Coeur d’Alene and Lake City high schools united and cheered together, “Timber-Viks rock the pool.” Gee, I wonder what a Timber-Vik looks like? A cough drop with splinters? … Overheard: A North Idaho gun-shop owner didn’t like the news from a supplier that President Clinton had banned the Czech-made cartridges he wanted. Said the businessman: “I’m glad that guy is in the White House. Crime oughta be gone in a week or two.” Three weeks, tops? … How do I get one of these jobs? A recent call to the federal Immigration and Naturalization Service office in Spokane drew a recording that said staffers only answer the phones from 8 to 10 a.m. … A subscriber wondered if the Nickel’s worth slipped Freudianly in a recent calendar notice when it listed Tom Taggart as the Lootenai County clerk. Of course, now Tom’s going to become the Lootenai County administrator.

Huckleberries: Just as I approached them at Coeur d’Alene High’s open house, Principal Steve Casey was saying to my wife, “You can tell your husband, he’s a (blank).” What? Lucky man? Yellow journalist? Unfortunately, Steve saw me before he finished and changed the subject. … The North Idaho College Sentinel caught this little gem in a wellness center list of ways to squeeze in exercise time. When you go to the bathroom, do 10 squats. … S-R sportswriters have enjoyed pointing out that David Olivera (no relation or final “i”), a freshman offensive lineman for Sonoma State, must be awfully bad if he didn’t play in the Cossacks’ 66-3 loss to Idaho. I’d say he’s pretty smart, too. Or injured.

Parting shot: Boundary County Prosecutor Randy Day didn’t like the fact that the S-R quoted a source at the Ruby Ridge hearings saying Randy’s “actions are creating a cloud over this whole thing.” According to the unnamed insider, Randy’s presence caused some FBI agents to take the Fifth Amendment rather than face criminal charges. Said Randy to the Bonners Ferry Herald: “They (the S-R) know I believe their editorial policy is bankrupt, and I’m not afraid to say so.” OK, OK, Randy. Next time you run for judge, we’ll endorse you.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huck? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline, (800) 338-8801 or (208) 765-7125).

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review

Gotta Huck? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline, (800) 338-8801 or (208) 765-7125).

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review