Cheap Seats

Brotherly love, or is it deuce?

When Roger Clinton was considering his new TV job, he went right to the top for advice. Clinton, 39-year-old younger brother of President Clinton, will be the host on Prime Network’s new weekly, half-hour show, “Tennis Extra Magazine.”

A tennis enthusiast, Clinton is not new to television. He’s had guest roles on the TV series “The Nanny” and “Designing Women” on CBS and has appeared as a vocalist on one album and at MTV’s Inaugural Ball.

Clinton said he talks with his brother about once a week, “and maybe this will get him back into the world of tennis again. … I think about the last time we played was when I dusted him.”

Presumably, Roger got dusted beforehand.

Tonya does the split

After 14 whole weeks of marriage, Tonya Harding has filed for divorce - she wants no distractions as she concentrates on what he has dubbed “Tonya II, The Comeback,” agent David Hans Schmidt said.

Meanwhile, a judge has told Harding’s attorney that there are no legal barriers that would prevent her from seeking reinstatement to the U.S. Figure Skating Association.

Harding, in an interview Wednesday on Portland radio station KKRZ’s “Morning Zoo,” was asked if she planned an ice show in Las Vegas.

“Don’t get any wild ideas here, OK?” she said. “I’m not going to be performing nude or topless or anything like that, OK? What I do, if I skate anywhere, it’s going to be a very respectable performance.”

Guess that means Shawn Eckardt won’t be suiting up for mixed pairs.

Inflate to 35 lbs.

Athletes are known for having inflated craniums, but few can match that of Cincinnati Reds catcher Joe Oliver, who wears a size XXL cap. As teammate Bret Boone put it, “Which would you rather have? A million dollars or Joe Oliver’s head full of nickels?”

They’ll sell tickets door to door

For $50, donors get a personalized brick at the new downtown sports arena in Grand Rapids, Mich. For Amway Corp. co-founder Jay Van Andel, $11.5 million put the entire 12,000-seat building in his name.

And we thought he was scheming to buy The Pyramid in Memphis.

He should pitch for the Marlins

Under the “Personal/Miscellaneous section” in the media guide biography of Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Mark Kiefer is this curious item: “Once swam from San Francisco to Alcatraz in 3 hours.”

Teammate Steve Sparks, also a pitcher, apparently got hold of Kiefer’s questionnaire at the end of last season and penned that bit of fiction.

As for Sparks, he’s wearing wrap-around goggles this year rather than conventional eyeglasses. “I’m trying to make the all-geek team,” he said. “I can finally see the catcher’s signs, not that it matters with a knuckleball pitcher.”

The last word …

“The NCAA is considering moving from suburban Kansas City, possibly to Florida, no doubt to be closer to its convictions.”

- Bernie Lincicome, Chicago Tribune

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