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The Slice Legends Of The Cone’s Fall Leave Us Pining For The Truth

Fri., April 19, 1996

There ought to be a local legend about what happens when a pinecone falls from a tree and strikes you.

Maybe there already is one. But we’ve never heard of it.

So we decided to make up our own. The problem is, we couldn’t stop at just one. Please choose for yourself.

1. From that moment on, you’ll never have another sinus headache.

2. Henceforth your lawn will obey your every command.

3. Suddenly everyone will think you look fetching in snug jeans.

4. You will be able to speak and understand the language of robins.

5. You’ll have the strength of 100 squirrels.

6. People who, without invitation, stare at certain parts of your body shall temporarily be struck blind.

7. From that day forward, your Bloomsday time will appear as “41 minutes” in the newspaper listings.

8. When you decide to drive on Division, all other motorists will chant “Hail the Pine Prince/Princess” and pull over to let you by.

9. Anyone who tries to talk to you about golf will turn into a marmot that all other marmots shall shun.

10. All your children will be able to do chin-ups with ease.

Slice answers: Oakesdale’s Pam Dabolt was looking at family snapshots her visiting brother had brought up from California. And during this show-and-tell, Dabolt’s 2-1/2-year-old niece took a photo of herself out of her dad’s hand and walked over to Dabolt’s refrigerator. She pointed up at an old picture of herself taken when she was an infant. Then she held up the more recent snapshot. “New photo,” she said.

Up it went.

And “A Reader in Colville” told about how, while working during the summer as a phone operator in 1964, she fell for a guy with a great voice and finally agreed to a blind date. “It took me five minutes to decide that the only thing I liked about this man was his voice,” she said.

But he kept calling her at her parents’ house. “My mother finally got tired of the calls and made me agree to talk to him,” she said. “I did, and I’ve been married for 29 years to the best person I’ve ever known. Sometimes mothers do know best.”

Find the missing letter: A reader noted that the business license applications listings in the current Journal of Business include someone intending to do “pubic relations.”

Of course, we at the Swell Paper have never ever committed a typo.

Today’s Slice question: Can you top St. Maries reader Brenda Walker’s service-with-a-sneer story of being told to leave a Spokane fast food eatery because her 6-month-old baby did not have on a shirt?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

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