If Anyone Asked Us To Do That, We’d Refuse
In case anyone out there still isn’t convinced the tabloids are trashy, The Globe claims it actually went through celebrities’ garbage to get the goods on them.
Among the reported findings:
Marlon Brando: fine wines, Perrier bottled water, The New York Times, organic veggies and nonfat yogurt.
New mom Roseanne: “Pocahontas,” “Lion King” and Playskool toys.
O.J. Simpson: M&M packets, golf magazine, golf-ball box.
Kelsey Grammer: Bud Lights, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and an adult toy package with the label “Ebony Tool.”
George Clooney: Scope mouthwash, M&Ms, Victoria’s Secret catalog.
Kirk Douglas (age 79): tennis-ball cans, condom wrappers.
Loose talk
O.J. Simpson, on Hollywood women (in Esquire): “Man, you don’t know what it’s like to have phone numbers on panties thrown over your gate. You add drugs to that aggressive kinda energy and you got a bad scene. That’s why I didn’t want Nicole around girls like that.”
You could certainly say that Bo knows John
John Derek turns 70 today.
She’ll probably be blushing from head to toe
Allan Starkie, a former business partner of John Bryan, the American who was photographed nibbling the Duchess of York’s tootsies, has signed a book deal for his “Fergie: Her Secret Life.” The publisher calls it “an explosive account of every element of the relationship between the duchess and John Bryan,” adding: “I don’t think it embarrasses the royal family, but I would say it will cause the duchess some concern.”
Actually, she’s only worried about dog pounds
Kathie Lee Gifford, fresh from that nasty sweatshop flap, angered the animal-rights folks last week by joking on television that one of her dogs was getting so fat that she might give it away. Friends of Animals offered to find “a responsible, caring home” for the bichon frise and sent a supply of Slim Fast - not for the dog, but for her kids, Cody and Cassidy, noting that “they, too, might one day be callously abandoned for thinner, more aesthetically appealing children.”
He was very put off by the ‘primitive’ part
Ray Walston, who was television’s “My Favorite Martian” in the mid-1960s, apparently wants nothing to do with the latest hype about the possibility of primitive life forms on the red planet. Answering the phone, his spokeswoman asked a caller: “Is this about Mars? Mr. Walston is declining to make a comment.”
What’s so odd about watching bucks naked?
A laborer at Andie MacDowell’s rural Montana home enjoyed an unexpected performance when the actress stepped outside, sans clothes, to look at deer. “I had forgotten there was a stone mason on our property working on a terrace,” said McDowell, who noticed the guy gawking after about five minutes.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color photos
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino