New Beginnings Starting School Can Be Scary For Both Child And Parents, But Being Prepared Can Lessen That Fear

Mon., Aug. 12, 1996

Lynn Gibson Correspondent

Kelsey Underwood is ready for the first day of school. Well, maybe. Yes. No. Not sure.

“I’m kinda excited to wear my uniform,” says the soon-to-be first-grader who will be attending All Saints School in Spokane.

“I don’t want to be at school all day. I’m excited to meet my new teacher. I don’t want to be away from my mommy all day. I would like to learn how to read.

“I’m going to bring my new ballerina backpack on the first day of school.”

Elation and trepidation. Ask most youngsters how they feel about the first day of school and, like Kelsey, they will be brimming with both.

It’s not easy for kids, whether entering a new school or a new classroom.

And not easy for parents either, who are quietly engaged in the conflicting thoughts of relief that school has begun and regret of another summer gone.

Teachers are sympathetic to all the back-to-school emotions and want to make it easier for everyone.

Debbie Halstead, a fourth-grade teacher at Garfield Elementary School in Spokane, approaches the first day of school from perspectives of both parent and teacher.

Halstead’s son, John, enters first grade in the APPLE Program at Garfield Elementary. Her second son, Joey, begins kindergarten at First Presbyterian Preschool.

“Especially with a first-grader,” says Halstead, “talk about the first day ahead of time. Discuss the routine with them and let them be involved in some first day decisions: ‘Do you want to take your lunch or eat in the cafeteria?’

“Help them to see themselves in the safe environment and picture the first day in their minds. It will make a smoother transition for them.”

Dr. Edward L. Schor, chief editor of the book “Caring For Your School-Age Child,” devotes an entire chapter to Preparing For a New School Year. He writes, “The start of each school year can be a particularly exciting and anxious time during middle childhood.”

In the days and weeks preceding the first day of school, make an effort to find out basic information about what awaits your child, suggests Schor, such as the daily schedule, lunch and snack needs, dress code policies and supplies necessary.

Talk with your child about his or her feelings, both the excitement and the concerns, says Schor. Children within the same family will each face the new school year differently.

For 6-year-old John Halstead, learning to read is what excites him most about school this fall. Yet he is scared about the idea of making new friends.

His 5-year-old brother, Joey, is opposite.

“I’m most excited about making new friends,” says Joey. “I’m sad that I’m going to be away from my mommy and that I’m going every day.”

For Debbie Halstead, identifying the anxieties of her sons will help her deal with the first day of school more effectively. One of Halstead’s tips? “Tuck in a special note in their lunch box, ‘Here’s hoping you’re having a great day,’ to reassure them you’re thinking about them.”

“If parents haven’t done it already, go in and meet the teacher,” she says, “and see the room where they’ll be the first day. Take a tour of the school.”

You may be able to address some of your child’s concerns at that time.

Remind your child that he or she is not the only student who is a bit uneasy about the first day of school, says Schor. And reassure the child of the positive aspects of school: new friends, new opportunities, new things to learn.

If it makes them feel better, let them bring something familiar on the first day.

Says Kelsey Underwood, “I’m going to bring my old lunch box on the first day of school because I really like Jasmine and Aladdin.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Staff illustration by A. Heitner

MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: HEAD BACK TO SCHOOL SAFELY As parents send their children back to school with new book bags, pencils and paper, they also need to arm them with a generous amount of safety information, say experts at the University of South Carolina. Safety at school often begins with communication at home. Here are some safety issues to discuss with your child before the first day of school: If your child will be walking to school, walk the route with him or her to assess its safety. Instruct your youngster to stay on sidewalks and main roads rather than cutting through alleys and wooded areas. If an older sibling goes to the same school, have the children walk together. For bike-riders, review bicycle safety with your child and purchase a helmet and bike lock. Discuss any school rules regarding bicycles and be sure your child knows the safest route to school and where to lock the bike within the school grounds. For the child who will ride the bus, strongly encourage your child to ride the bus that first day, says Dr. Edward L. Schor, editor of “Caring For Your School-Age Child.” Parents can follow in the car, but this initial bus trip is important to a child’s self-confidence and the youngster should be there if seats are assigned on the bus. Review bus safety rules and discuss what the child should do if he or she is teased or harassed on the bus, in hopes that the child can resolve the difficulty without parental intervention. For young school-age children, examine their clothing, backpacks and lunch boxes for sharp edges and hazardous objects. Sweat shirts and coats with drawstrings around the neck are a potential choking hazard. Review with your child “stranger-danger” precautions: Don’t talk with strangers hanging around the school; report suspicious incidents or people; don’t jeopardize your personal safety to protect property. Teach students of all ages how to resolve conflicts without fighting, using problem-solving skills and stress management. Find an ally at school, a teacher or other respected adult, the child can talk to if frightened or frustrated. -Lynn Gibson

This sidebar appeared with the story: HEAD BACK TO SCHOOL SAFELY As parents send their children back to school with new book bags, pencils and paper, they also need to arm them with a generous amount of safety information, say experts at the University of South Carolina. Safety at school often begins with communication at home. Here are some safety issues to discuss with your child before the first day of school: If your child will be walking to school, walk the route with him or her to assess its safety. Instruct your youngster to stay on sidewalks and main roads rather than cutting through alleys and wooded areas. If an older sibling goes to the same school, have the children walk together. For bike-riders, review bicycle safety with your child and purchase a helmet and bike lock. Discuss any school rules regarding bicycles and be sure your child knows the safest route to school and where to lock the bike within the school grounds. For the child who will ride the bus, strongly encourage your child to ride the bus that first day, says Dr. Edward L. Schor, editor of “Caring For Your School-Age Child.” Parents can follow in the car, but this initial bus trip is important to a child’s self-confidence and the youngster should be there if seats are assigned on the bus. Review bus safety rules and discuss what the child should do if he or she is teased or harassed on the bus, in hopes that the child can resolve the difficulty without parental intervention. For young school-age children, examine their clothing, backpacks and lunch boxes for sharp edges and hazardous objects. Sweat shirts and coats with drawstrings around the neck are a potential choking hazard. Review with your child “stranger-danger” precautions: Don’t talk with strangers hanging around the school; report suspicious incidents or people; don’t jeopardize your personal safety to protect property. Teach students of all ages how to resolve conflicts without fighting, using problem-solving skills and stress management. Find an ally at school, a teacher or other respected adult, the child can talk to if frightened or frustrated. -Lynn Gibson