The Slice It’s Called ‘Eau De Cookout’

Maybe it’s considered sexy only in the Inland Northwest.

But we happen to know there are people aroused by that scent one acquires after being downwind of smoking charcoal.

“What’s that you’re wearing?”

“Backyard briquettes.”

“Mmmmmmm.”

One time it was nice to get such a call: Lisa Long’s kids told her the FBI was calling. Her mind reeled. But when she came in and picked up the phone, she made a happy discovery. It wasn’t the FBI. It was MCI.

We’ve always liked Newport’s main-drag display of state banners: But maybe it’s time for a new civic promotion. Flags wear out too fast.

The ultimate insult: “I was standing around, watching the first day of practice for the WSU Cougar football team when I noticed two young kids, possibly brothers, shouting insults at each other,” wrote Michael Schmitt of Otis Orchards. “The standard ‘You stink.’ ‘Yeah? Well, you eat boogers!’ dialogue had started. Amateurs, I thought. They’re too young to know any good insults.

“I paid these kids no attention until a couple of minutes later when I noticed that they had somehow gotten a hold of some oversized football helmets and pads and were playing their own version of football. One kid missed a thrown ball and the thrower shouted ‘You couldn’t catch a cold.’

“The reply? To my surprise, it was ‘Yeah? Well, YOU’RE A HUSKY!’

“It just warms my heart and almost brings a tear to this WSU alumnus’ eye to know that kids these days know some pretty good insults. Apparently they are being raised right. I might have to use that last insult a couple of times this year.”

Slice answer: One of the responses to our question about what it is that people DO NOT miss about the Spokane area when they are away on vacation came from a woman who said she didn’t miss anything having to do with trains - the sight, sound, traffic delays, you name it.

Well, to each her own. But can you imagine what Spokane would be like if it hadn’t been for the railroads?

Picture Twin Peaks.

Today’s Slice question: What’s the best way to teach kids not to leave toys/clothes/et cetera outside?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. The one reason to watch Rodney Dangerfield’s “Back to School,” tonight on Comedy Central, is to see the late Sam Kinnison as a volcanic whacked-out college professor.