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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

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Patriot missiles

Responding to last month’s bombing at the Olympics, the New England Patriots have added at least one explosive-sniffing German shepherd to their security contingent at Foxboro Stadium.

Team spokesman Don Lowery said security will check fans at the turnstiles for anything that looks suspicious. Fans are already checked for cans, bottles and umbrellas, which could be used in fights or thrown onto the field and cause possible injuries.

“We haven’t had any threats recently,” Lowery said.

Scoring or otherwise.

He’s a thin-mint kinda guy

The Girl Scouts thought they were in trouble and - Kazaam! - Shaq was there to help.

Newly signed Los Angeles Laker Shaquille O’Neal offered to pay up to $250 a year to allow Girl Scouts to sing songs such as “God Bless America” and “This Land is Your Land” when it appeared they would have to pay royalty fees or find new campfire favorites.

As it turns out, Shaq’s offer won’t be needed.

The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers, which bills commercial camps to use such standards, said the Scouts’ 16 camps errantly got lumped into a nationwide association whose members must pay to use the songs.

However, an ASCAP official said the Girl Scouts are exempt, because they are a non-profit group.

All the same, Shaq’s offer was appreciated.

“I’m a big Girl Scout cookie eater. Keep making those cookies, ” O’Neal said.

With his $120 million salary, Shaq can afford 30 million boxes at 4 bucks a pop.

Jimmy’s green light

If there is one thing Miami Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson enjoys, it’s watching his players hit opposing players. Right after a free agent named Larry Izzo knocked down two Chicago Bears on a kickoff in a preseason game, Johnson yelled out:

“Izzo! Where ya from?”

“Woodlands,” Izzo replied.

“Outside Houston?” asked Johnson.

“Yep,” Izzo said.

“Well, call your family and tell them that only two guys have made the Dolphins right now - Dan Marino and Larry Izzo.”

Great. He’ll be perfect for the Son of No Name Defense.

Trojans of the University of Sandiego-Carmen

They say college opens new horizons.

USC senior quarterback Brad Otton, a Washington native, on his school and its customs: “I didn’t even know USC and UCLA were rivals. I knew USC was in Los Angeles, but I didn’t know UCLA was in L.A. When I first got here, I didn’t know why the players did the peace sign when the band played. The victory sign. I thought I had joined a cult or something.”

Is that Dennis Rodman?

After New England Patriots coach Bill Parcells talked to reporters about “prima donna players,” one of the team’s public relations interns typed up a transcript of Parcell’s comments from the news briefing. It came out “pre-Madonna players.”

The last word …

“Maybe we’re going to buy a stock of Pampers and bring a supply with us.”

- South Carolina football coach Brad Scott, who has only 30 lettermen returning

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo