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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Call Yourself Adult? Then Accept Your Responsibility

Becky Moser Knight-Ridder

You know, it’s too bad that our culture doesn’t have some kind of ritual, some rite of passage, that ushers us into adulthood.

The ceremony could be a fancy affair.

Before our friends and family, we could be called on stage and issued an official plastic ADULT card and a gold-bordered certificate that declares in elegant calligraphy that we are truly grown up.

But, before we could leave the stage, and enter adulthood, we would have to read and agree to obey the official adult code of conduct.

This code would demand, that as adults, in addition to being legally able to drink a beer, that we take responsibility for ourselves, that we suffer the consequences of our choices and our actions, both the pleasant and the unfortunate.

I mean, if I was officially an adult and I participated in a sex chat room on the Internet, inviting offers for sexually torturing and killing me, whose fault would it be if somebody took me up on it?

Mine or my Internet provider?

Recently I listened to people on a radio talk show suggest that somehow the Internet provider just might be responsible. I couldn’t believe my ears.

So then is the Postal Service to blame for the Unabomber?

Is the sidewalk to blame when a thief uses it to get into my house?

No.

I’ll say it again - NO.

The Internet, the Postal Service, our nations’ roads, are simply paths. People choose - choose - to travel through life bravely or with cowardice. They chose to travel with kindness or with cruelty.

And, as adults, we shoulder the burden of responsibility for the choices we make. We take both credit and blame.

While we have no official ceremony ushering us into the responsible world of adulthood, I don’t think that’s the problem.

In fact, our society has a cautious, three-tiered approach to adulthood.

If you break the law, you’re an adult at 16. At 18, you can take on the adult responsibilities of voting and fighting in wars.the time you’re 21 - with or without a fancy ceremony - you’re over the hump; you’re an adult.

The problem is that few of us take the step seriously.

Alas, adulthood, for too many of us, is still kind of a whining adolescence.

We continue to slither away from being responsible for ourselves. We point fingers every which way, blaming our failures and lapses in judgment on anything or anyone else.

You know the drill: It’s society’s fault. It’s poverty’s fault. It’s my parents’ fault. It’s her fault. It’s his fault.

What’s worse, the rest of us go along with it, nodding sadly and sighing: Somebody should have stopped this.

You know who that somebody is? It’s us - you and me.

It’s time we start expecting adults to be, well, adults.