Cheap Seats
Do you remember the time …
Five football players were ejected and eight personal fouls were called when Arizona State defeated Arizona 56-14, causing concern at both universities. So coaches Bruce Snyder of ASU and Dick Tomey of Arizona got together and wrote a letter “to all fans of the Arizona State-Arizona rivalry.”
They urged “fans, friends and alumni of the two universities to assist us over the next 12 months to promote the health of the rivalry.”
And if that doesn’t work, maybe they’ll cut some radio spots for US Bank.
Chef Boy R.P.
Rick Pitino, the coach of NCAA champion Kentucky, is planning to market a line of Italian foods in grocery stores. The target date for introducing Pitino Classic Italian Foods in stores is early 1997, starting with 10 different sizes and shapes of pasta.
This pasta is so good, don’t count on it sticking around.
The coaches’ wearhouse
Rick Pitino (see previous item) can move on to the world of cuisine because he’s already conquered haberdashery. Bob Knight is sticking with basketball - and considering how Pitino’s Wildcats cleaned up on Knight’s Indiana Hoosiers, well he should.
It seems the Lexington store that outfits Pitino offered Knight a designer suit with “appropriate shoes, shirt and tie” for the UK-IU game.
Knight responded with a letter of appreciation in which he wrote: “I think I will stick to my designer Starter sweater over my designer Riceland Country Club golf shirt, along with my designer Haggar slacks and my designer Foot-Joy teaching shoes.”
The prints of which could be found on his players’ backsides come the next practice.
Terror on two wheels
Score it one run, no hits and two Giant errors.
It all started when San Francisco Giants pitcher Shawn Estes apparently had the urge to go on a joyride. Problem was, he chose to take his spin on a Los Gatos (Calif.) officer’s 21-speed Specialized Rockhopper bicycle worth $600.
The bike was parked outside a restaurant when Estes decided to pedal off. When two of the town’s bike patrol officers came out of the restaurant, they discovered the bike gone - and as soon as Estes spotted the cops, he brought the bike back. He was told he was under arrest for joyriding, a misdemeanor.
That prompted Estes to take off on foot.
Six days later, Estes surrendered to Los Gatos police and was charged with the joyriding count, as well as with escaping officers. He was fingerprinted and released. A joyriding conviction could bring a $400 fine.
Hey, after the season the Giants went through, a guy could use a joyride.
Padding his answer
In light of the flap over NHL goalies wearing oversized equipment, the Rangers’ Glenn Healy was asked if he knew of any goalies who were playing with legal pads.
“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’re all in the minors.”
The last word …
“Did you watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade? The Fat Albert balloon sprung a leak and at the last minute was replaced by Yankees first baseman Cecil Fielder.”
- David Letterman
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