No Silence In This Heart

In my adult years I have realized that I have no special memories of growing up. No one told me how loved I was. No one told me little stories about things I did as a child. There was not one person who told me they cared about me at all. When I was 20, I was in a near fatal motorcycle accident. My parents were the first ones told. I would have liked to hear how my parents felt when they were told the news.

My family was the type of family who never talked about their feelings. They were private people. The children in the family never knew what the adults were thinking or feeling.

Instead of being sad about this fact of my life, I have vowed not to be the same way with my two adult children and my granddaughter. From day one, I told my children how much they were loved, how I was feeling at the time things happened to us and I recounted for them funny stories about when they were little.

For instance, when the kids were toddlers they shared a bedroom and I remember singing them to sleep one night. I thought: “This is great. When my children grow up, they’ll remember what a wonderful mother they had who sang to them at night.” At that moment, my daughter opened one eye and said: “Mamma, will you please be quiet. I’m trying to sleep.” That’s one of my favorite stories! But I know they were listening because my son sings the same songs to his daughter.

In 1997, I plan to start a journal. I’ll put in it stories about my 3-year-old granddaughter, Michaela. I wish I had started it the day she was born, but it’s never too late. Here is one story I will put in. At Halloween time, she was at my apartment and I had given her a pumpkin flashlight. She wanted all the lights off, except her flashlight. She couldn’t find the light switch over the kitchen sink and she asked me:”Grandma, where’s the zipper to that light?”

In my journal, I will also tell my children and grandchildren how much they are loved, how special they are to me and to my life. In this way they will learn more about themselves - and me.

I believe it’s important for children to hear stories about their early years. It shows them how their personalities start when they are little, how much we care that they are here in our lives and how they are individuals. And they will learn that telling family stories is something they can do for their children and grandchildren.

xxxx