The Slice We Can All Breathe Easier, Winter Has Finally Arrived

Smile.

This is the first full week of winter.

Let’s all sing that old Carpenters’ song … “We’ve Only Just Begun.”

Feel free to adjust the lyrics.

When you’ve gotta go: A letter signed “Anonymous grandparents in Pullman” asked if anyone else knew of incidents involving a child mistakenly assuming that a toilet on display out in an aisle at a home-supply store was, uh, ready for use. “We were apprehensive about asking or mentioning it to the manager.”

Well, folks, you are not alone. The Slice has heard about several such episodes. But the report of your grandson’s announcement - “Papa, I’m finished and I will go wash my hands” - makes us hope you commended the lad for his laudable commitment to hygiene.

Slice answer: “Grandma Walton would portray me in the movie ‘Ice Storm ‘96.’ ” - Patty Lausche

Seeking a few good daughters-in-law: A Spokane reader named Sarah is still working on the exact wording of the personal ad she wants to run. But here’s what she’s got so far. “WANT TO RETIRE. Need to marry off a handful of professional, talented, peripatetic sons. Requirements: Good sense of humor, good morals.”

Urban species: Eleanor Laubach’s 4-year-old granddaughter, Kelsey, was visiting from Tacoma. As they drove away from a library, the little girl noticed a sign. She asked her grandmother about it and was told it was a “No Parking” warning.

“If we did park there, we’d get our car towed,” Laubach explained.

Kelsey thought about that for a moment. Then she had to ask. “Grandma, what’s a car toad?”

Well, duh: A “Dateline NBC/Prevention Magazine Survey” reveals that concerns about money cause stress during the holidays.

Thanks: To LaDonna Kirk, Deer Park’s Lisa Johnson, Coeur d’Alene’s Lisa Johnson, Mary Farrell, Patricia Muncy and all the others who shared holiday year-in-review letters. There’s no doubt about it: Slice readers are a sweet, sensitive and occasionally deranged lot.

Warm-up question: Who around here came closest to sending cards to people in all 50 states?

Today’s Slice question (complete this sentence): In the Inland Northwest at least, 1997 will come to be known as “The Year of the ….”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Keep buying The Spokesman-Review on the above days and no one gets hurt.