The Genius Was Fine Coach, But No Gibbs

The Super Bowl season is upon us, as is the Bill Walsh-for-Genius campaign. In his absence from 1989 to 1995, the 49ers recorded marks of 14-2, 14-2, 10-6, 14-2, 10-6, 13-3 and 11-5. Then, under Walsh’s guidance as a “consultant” this season - The Genius talked and tinkered and tweaked - the 49ers went 12-4.

Can this man consult, or what?

As we all know, The Genius invented the short passing game, which involves - and excuse me for getting technical here - a lot of short passes. This “scheme” is popularly known as the West Coast offense, which is the football equivalent of the flat tax - simple, yet complex.

Walsh is credited with pretty much every innovation in football since shoulder pads.

I wouldn’t be surprised to find out Walsh invented third down.

Walsh had a terrific 10-year run coaching San Francisco in the 1980s, winning three Super Bowls. Yet he is just one of 10 coaches - including his successor, George Seifert - who have won multiple Super Bowls. So I don’t understand how he’s The Genius and everyone else is just a guy with a couple of rings.

Heck, Tom Flores won two Super Bowls, how hard can it be?

Let’s look at The Genius vs. Joe Gibbs, for example; Walsh was in San Francisco from 1979-88 and Gibbs was in Washington from 1981-92.

Gibbs (124-60) was slightly better than Walsh (92-59-1) in the regular season, slightly better than Walsh in the postseason (17-5 to 10-4) and won just as many titles as Walsh.

In fact, Gibbs won Super Bowls with Joe Theismann, Doug Williams and Mark Rypien at quarterback. Walsh won Super Bowls with Joe Montana, Joe Montana and Joe Montana at quarterback. (Gibbs even went to an NFC championship game with Jay Schroeder at quarterback, for goodness sakes.)

Plus, Gibbs is even better at NBC than Walsh was.

I guess this genius stuff is in the eye of the buffet-bloated beholder.

(Quarterback Quagmire: Craig Erickson, Glenn Foley, Jason Garrett, Stan Gelbaugh, Billy Joe Hobert, David Klingler, Jeff Lewis, Jamie Martin, Shane Matthews, Bill Musgrave, Jim McMahon, Browning Nagle, Frank Reich, Gino Torretta and Wade Wilson all threw at least one incompleted pass during the NFL’s final weekend. Rusty Hilger must’ve misplaced his pager.)

(Final Rick Venturi Note of All-Time: With Northwestern, he was 1-31-1; with the Colts, he was 1-10; with the Saints, he was 1-7. It’s the surest thing in all of sport - you bring in Venturi, sooner or later he’ll bring you a victory.)

Well, on to the games!!!

Dallas is 17-6 in the playoffs at home, San Francisco is 14-7, Pittsburgh is 11-4 and Buffalo is 10-2. Will all four win this weekend? Likely. Will all four cover the spread? Not as likely. But I’m willing to bet on each of them, figuring three out of four will treat their visitors like Alec Baldwin treats photographers.

As usual, the following picks against the point spread are for recreational purposes only:

Jaguars at Bills (-8): It must be noted that while I’m on the record from Week 1 that Carolina is “Super Bowl-bound,” I’m also on the record that Jacksonville will not win a Super Bowl title in its “entire franchise history.” Frankly, the fact that I don’t like Jaguars coach Tom Coughlin or the city of Jacksonville caused me to overlook the team much of the season, and I can only apologize to my Uncle Stefano, who moved to the Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., area several years ago and regards my column as a “public nuisance.”

It’s actually possible - through a series of events no more improbable than your typical Charlie Sheen night on the town - that Jacksonville still could host the AFC championship game.

The good news for the Jaguars is that, other than John Elway, Mark Brunell was the AFC’s most valuable quarterback this season. The bad news for the Jaguars is that you don’t go to Buffalo in the month of December and pick up anything other than a cold. Pick: Bills.

Vikings at Cowboys (-10): Drug suspensions shelved Michael Irvin for five games, Shante Carver for six games and Leon Lett for three games. Injuries knocked out Jay Novacek for the entire season, Charles Haley for much of the season and Kevin Williams, Brock Marion and Mark Tuinei for significant stretches. Emmitt Smith was banged up all year. The team failed to score a touchdown in four games. And Barry Switzer is regarded as the Rip Taylor of coaches.

Yeah, well, for at least one more week - and only one more week - they’re still the Cowboys. Pick: Cowboys.

Eagles at 49ers (-10-1/2): This is my problem with Philadelphia: You cannot play a West Coast offense in an East Coast city. We’re talking different time zones. Heck, nobody knows when the snap count is. Plus, you don’t think The Genius knows how to defend a cheap imitation of his own concoction? Pick: 49ers.

Colts at Steelers (-7-1/2): See Pittsburgh run. See Pittsburgh stop the run. See Pittsburgh run up the score. Pick: Steelers.

Last week: 8-7.

Final regular-season record: 119-117-2.*

(* Embattled but not embittered, belittled but not beleaguered, disparaged but not discouraged, The Man is still standing. That’s seven consecutive seasons better than .500, folks. What Twiggy was to ‘70s modeling, I am to ‘90s gambling. God, it’s good to be The Man.)