December 28, 1996 in Features

The Slice Washington Hicks Take No Guff About Their Kids

By The Spokesman-Review
 

After asking for baby-monitor stories, we heard from a Spokane native who now lives outside New York City.

She told about how her monitor picked up a neighbor’s cordless telephone conversation. That exchange included the neighbor saying, more than once, “She’s a hick from Washington state.”

It wasn’t difficult to figure out just who was being ripped.

Then the neighbor on the phone characterized our correspondent’s kids as “brats.” That did it.

“I flew out the front door and made a bee-line for my big-mouthed neighbor,” she wrote. “Let me tell you, one thing I learned from being a hick for 24 years was that there’s only so much you can take before you have to nip it in the bud.”

Installment 43 of “You know someone is from Spokane when he or she …”:

“… offers to help you.” - Mary McDonnell

“… can’t believe that Spokane is not listed as the No. 1 place to live in America.” - John J. Shaffer

“… orders french fries and demands their tartar sauce.” - Mark Murphy

“… can recite the theme song from ‘Starlit Stairway’ in its entirety.” - R. Flinn

Full moon out: A Swell Paper colleague was swapping holiday anecdotes with an acquaintance when a woman he didn’t know chimed in. “At least your father-in-law didn’t moon everyone in the family,” she said.

Quote of the day: “I like the Internet because it keeps so many idiots at home and away from the general population.” - from a letter to the Detroit Free Press

If you asked us: When it comes to referring to the way things were someplace else, transplanted Californians can’t hold a candle to Inland Northwest residents “from Chicago” - some of whom actually lived within 100 miles of the Windy City.

Warm-up questions: How would you describe the ideal airliner seatmate? If your workplace were really a sitcom, which of your colleagues would be most frequently mocked with heavy use of the laugh track? What would you do if you were a boss and you learned that one of your employees illegally parked one of your clearly-marked company vehicles in “handicapped” spaces?

Today’s Slice question: What’s your favorite snowball story?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Just say no to celebrity product endorsements.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Just say no to celebrity product endorsements.


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