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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Test Intuition With ‘Miss Usa Pageant’

John Martin New York Times Syndicate

Fifty-one young women compete in the 45th “Miss USA Pageant,” CBS at 9, broadcast from South Padre Island, Texas.

Shanna Moakler, Miss USA l995, will crown her successor when a panel of celebrity judges chooses who will represent the United States in the Miss Universe pageant.

Whether beauty pageants demean women is still something that’s debated, although it’s a passe topic on the radio talk shows I listen to. And lately I’ve heard a few self-described feminists defend a woman’s right to be in a pageant if she so chooses.

The controversy has been overstated. The reason millions tune in beauty pageants isn’t because the audience is mostly men panting through the swimsuit competition. People watch for the same reason they watch “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune.”

It’s the drama and unpredictability that keep viewers coming back for more.

You know that Miss USA and Miss America represent a superficial, cosmetic view of beauty. You’ve watched so many of these things that the game has become seeing if your intuition matches whatever criteria the judges use to pick one beauty from among so many.

But you’ll always be a winner if you never forget that in the real world beauty is measured in ways that allow anyone to wear a crown.

Highlights

“Due South,” CBS at 8: Ray (David Marciano) is suspended from the force after an off-duty brawl with a mobster (James Bracchitta). When a car bomb intended for the detective kills a fellow officer, Ray and Fraser (Paul Gross) go after the man they think is responsible.

“Family Matters,” ABC at 8: Urkel and Carl (Jaleel White, Reginald VelJohnson) use the infamous transformation chamber to turn themselves into a couple of Bruce Lees and take on thugs who threaten to steal Urkel’s experiments.

“Dateline NBC,” NBC at 9: As if you don’t have enough to worry about, Lea Thompson reports on criminals who snatch pets and why they do it.

“Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper,” ABC at 9:30: In a familiar plot, Cooper (Mark Curry) promises Boyz II Men for a high school show. When he can’t deliver, he takes to the stage in part of a nutty plan to save his skin.

“Homicide: Life on the Street,” NBC at 10: A critical “Chicago Hope” episode earlier this season suggested that doctors can be tough on patients who are crime suspects. Detectives Pembleton (Andre Braugher) and Bayliss (Kyle Secor) trace the death of a tough-looking young man to the hospital emergency room where he had been treated.

“20/20,” ABC at 10: No Emmy here. A report deals with a widespread but not exactly earth-shattering issue: Bad breath and what to do about it.

Talk Time

“Tonight,” NBC at 11:35: Actor Timothy Hutton and musical group All 4 One.

“Late Show With David Letterman,” CBS at 11:35: Cybill Shepherd (“Cybill”), actor Jon Stewart and hand-shadow master Sati Achath.

“Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” NBC at 12:35 a.m.: Supermodel Claudia Schiffer and stand-up comedian Ralph Harris.

xxxx CABLE CALLS “Soapdish” (1991), TBS at 5:05: Sally Fields and Kevin Kline run amuck as a fading soap opera diva and her former lover, a has-been actor added to the cast as part of a conspiracy to write her out of the show. “Nautilus,” A&E at 6 and 10: A&E airs this History Channel documentary on the history of submarines. Attention is paid to the World War I competition between Britain and Germany to develop the first modern underwater ship and to the know-how that goes into today’s subs. “Run Silent, Run Deep” (1958), FAM at 11: “The Hunt for Red October” is an OK film, but give me this World War II adventure starring Clark Gable and Burt Lancaster.