It’s Best To Keep Mate Content
Dear Ann Landers: I was not surprised to hear how few older men were happy to be cuddled and held tenderly instead of having sex with their partners. I could have told you that.
I’m 70 years old and have been a widow for seven years after 44 years of a sexually satisfying marriage. I was part of the sex scene a year after my husband died. I had an affair with a much older married man. Even though he loved his wife, he was willing to risk everything for a chance to experience what he had not known for several years. All he needed was a little help to get back this wonderful gift of sex.
We both knew it could not continue because we were unable to handle the guilt. Yet I have never regretted our time together since I, too, had a need. The years since have been difficult, but affairs are not the answer.
Hearing wives joke about their husbands’ sexual inadequacies makes me angry. These women are the other half of the relationship, and if sex is no longer a part of their lives, they should be willing to accept 50 percent of the blame. Excuses are meaningless, and that’s exactly what they are - excuses. These women jokingly say if they stopped cooking, their husbands would starve. Well, many husbands are starving - for sex, and their wives should be aware of all the widows out there who would love to supply what is missing. - W.G.
Dear W.G.: You are right. Husbands who are satisfied at home are less likely to roam. You’ve chosen the proper road. A clandestine romp in the sack is no satisfactory substitute for a legitimate, loving relationship. Invariably, it’s the woman whose reputation gets trashed, and those romps rarely lead to the altar.
Dear Ann Landers: Hats off to “Judy in Santa Rosa,” for insisting that her partner be tested for AIDS. It may have saved her life.
A few years ago, I was dating a man who swore he had previously been with only “safe” women, or so he thought. When he went to donate blood, he found out he had Hepatitis C.
According to the American Liver Foundation, there is a 27 percent chance of passing Hepatitis C to your partner during sex. Those who are carriers have an 80 percent chance of developing chronic liver disease.
I was fortunate that I didn’t get this disease from him, but I certainly would not have become involved in the first place had I known he was a carrier.
Hepatitis B and C, AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and herpes are all transmitted between partners. An AIDS test is not enough. Ann, please tell your readers that it is important for them to take responsibility for their health and safety. Their lives are at stake. - Learned My Lesson in Louisiana
Dear Lesson Learned: Your letter is a good one, but you should know that Hepatitis B and C are not only transmitted during sexual contact. A blood transfusion could be the culprit. They can also be transmitted by sharing razors, toothbrushes, nail files and needles used by an infected person.
Your points are well taken, however. Casual sex these days can indeed be a matter of life and death. A devastating illness is a huge price to pay for a few hours of fun.
xxxx