Bobby Has Everything Save A Little Humility

Supermarket tabloids have been busy trumpeting news about the strange uncoupling of Michael Jackson and Lisa-Marie Presley. Now that the two have split, what will they do?

Well, how about concentrating on Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown?

Brown, the perennial bad boy of funk, just got out of the Betty Ford clinic where, among other things, he reportedly confirmed a long-time allegation that Houston is gay.

He denies that now, telling Sister 2 Sister magazine that he and the pop songstress are back together, even if “we still haven’t put our rings back on.”

Brown, 27, also denies being jealous of Houston’s success. “How can I be jealous of my own wife?” he asked. “No, that’s not me. God has given me too much for me to be jealous of anybody else.”

Loose Talk

Tony Bennett on his quick wit (in TV Guide): “Once a guy was heckling me and asked me if I knew my fly was open. I just said, ‘What key do you want to hear it in?”’

What does he call his daughter? Our Miss Brooks, natch

Garth Brooks turns 34 today.

At least he isn’t claiming innocence on a $29.95 video

When does killing someone pay? Apparently when your name is Christian Brando. The 37-year-old son of Marlon Brando, convicted of gunning down the lover of his half-sister Cheyenne Brando, served five years in jail. He is now taking welding classes at Nashua Technical College in New Hampshire and living in a rented $150,000 home.

Still, maybe her basic instinct was right to begin with

Sharon Stone, who at age 38 is on the road to a legitimate career, has a few regrets. The main one is her bare-bones performance in “Basic Instinct.” “If I knew then what I know now,” she told Vanity Fair magazine, “I think it’s not a great idea to do nudity.”

And this much for sure, Gong Li is no ‘hua ping’

So why hasn’t Gong Li, the highly acclaimed Chinese actress, gravitated to Hollywood. Because, she told Premiere magazine, “Up to now, I haven’t seen any interesting parts.” The 30-year-old star of “Raise the Red Lantern,” “The Story of Qiu Ju,” “Ju Dou” and most recently “Shanghai Triad” said, “If you want me to be a ‘hua ping’ (literally ‘flower vase,’ or ‘bimbo’) in a movie dominated by men - why would I bother? There are plenty of films I could do in China.”

That’s how you get rich: Don’t pay the little people

Ivana Trump is being sued by a former assistant who says she is owed $1.5 mil from a Home Shopping Network deal that earned Trump $30 million. Lisa Calandra worked for the ex-Mrs. Trump for 10 years. “Only lawyers broker deals for Ivana,” said a Trump spokeswoman.

Say, we didn’t know Rob Reiner was a fan of Green Day

Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day is picky about his fans. “There’s still a lot of meatheads that come to our shows,” he told Out magazine. “The kind of people I’ve hated all of my life come to my shows.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster