Sexcapades On Home Video Lead To Cuffs

A home video found in an unrented Coeur d’Alene North condo gave Coeur d’Alene officers an eyeful: two adults playing a naked version of Twister. Seems one evening a butterball in a white-laced teddy, her lover and a third party slipped illegally into Room 1519. After drinks, they frolicked while Mr. White-Laced Teddy worked. An anonymous caller alerted CPD Blue to the sexcapade. Officers found a vegetable tray, a black G-string and the steamy video. Later, Madame XXX, still wearing her nightie, appeared at the condo’s security office looking for her belongings and was cuffed. Eat your heart out, Bob Saget.

Flood of memories

During recent floods, Benewah County residents plugged sandbag leaks with (drum roll, please) cow manure. When told of the secret ingredient, Commissioner Jack Buell asked: “Is this a cow-manure story, or is it really true?” Was Jack’s proboscis on the fritz? … Kudos to the Pinehurst-Kingston Library for declaring an amnesty on overdue books through mid-March. The library figures their soaked bookworms have problems enough. Also, the library is helping flood victims by accepting a canned-food donation for old fines - some as high as $35. … As National Guardsmen, cops and reporters swarmed the flood command center at the old Cataldo mission, a ranger observed: “This is the most visitation we’ve had in February in years.” … Our Woman In Boise thought it unnecessary that someone made a paper nameplate identifying President Clinton during his recent Boise press conference. But I don’t. Most Democrats in Idaho’s Capitol are persona non grata. … Unhappy Chris Christopherson of Kellogg didn’t like the state police ticketing motorists for parking along I-5 as they tried to get back home or help sandbag. Faxed he: “Makes one feel real good about helping out. Probably won’t bother next time.”

Queen of hearts

The Washington Post asked D.C. power brokers on Valentine’s Day to name their “Secret Valentine” - someone who has caught their eye or imagination. Of course, Bill and Hillary made the list, as did John F. Kennedy Jr. - and Idaho Congress(wo)man Helen Chenoweth. A smitten think-tank president, 39, said of Our Miss Chenoweth: “She’s tall and gorgeous.” And old enough to be your mother, junior. … S-R sportswriter Greg Lee’s morning was jump-started Tuesday when he dialed a Twin Falls 800 number. A saucy woman’s voice greeted him: “Hi, sexy. You are connected to the hottest phone line in America. If you are under 18 and don’t wish to be billed, please hang up now.” Seems two numbers got scrambled - as did “Sexy’s” brain. … Steve LaTourrette’s signboard provides a hair stylist’s view of Seattle’s try to fly the coop: “Mr. B is removing the Seahawks’ split ends.”

Huckleberries

Kootenai County Sheriff Pierce Clegg has tried twice to announce his re-election bid only to be upstaged - by floods and the Diamond Cup Committee’s decision to pull its hydroplane race proposal. He’ll try again Tuesday. … Do you suppose Ohio could be called the “Coeur d’Alene state”? The touristy motto on Ohio license plates defines our city’s name almost perfectly: “The heart of it all.” … Oops: In Huckleberries Past, I poked fun at ‘70s rocker Pete Hoorelbeke of CdA for misspelling “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” in a flyer - but jumbled the O’s in his name. … Pete noted that the refrain for the Iron Butterfly anthem originally was “In the Garden of Eden.” But the group’s singer once got too plastered to pronounce the words properly. And the rest is history.

Parting shot

A few weeks ago, Realtor Dan Flanagan saved an insurance company money by not listening to a Harbor Island neighbor. Jim Anderson’s advice? Get some flood insurance. Flanagan figured he didn’t live in a designated flood plain and pooh-poohed the idea. Good thing dozens of Flanagan’s closest friends weren’t doing anything when the waters came.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huck? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline, (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125; Fax: (208) 765-7149.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review