Bill May Force Couples To Postpone Divorce Rep. Dorr Wants Counseling, Mandatory Trial Separation

Rep. Tom Dorr has a new plan to change divorce laws in Idaho: He wants people citing irreconcilable differences to go through a year’s separation, during which the couple must attend at least eight counseling sessions.

The wait would be mandatory in divorces involving children or when either party requests it.

But domestic violence victim advocates who opposed Dorr’s earlier proposal to restrict divorce said the latest plan still creates problems for abused spouses.

Joanne Buchin, a Boise attorney and past president of the Idaho Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence, said it’s hard enough for a battered woman to leave her abusive husband.

“To have all these other restrictions put in the way just drags the whole thing out and can be devastating,” she said.

“I work with those victims,” said Celia Heady, executive director of the Idaho Council on Domestic Violence. “If the government’s going to step in and do something, let’s step in and make it easier for them if they’ve decided on divorce.”

A legislative subcommittee agreed Wednesday to submit Dorr’s bill to a privileged committee for printing. That’s the only way a bill can be introduced this late in the session.

Subcommittee members weren’t enthusiastic about Dorr’s proposal, but said it deserves a hearing.

Asked whether the new bill resolves concerns about abusive situations, subcommittee Chairman Rep. Mark Stubbs, R-Twin Falls, said, “Not completely, no. It’s really hard to handle that issue.”

Dorr said victims of abuse can seek divorces under grounds other than irreconcilable differences, like extreme cruelty. That requires proving the cruelty in court.

He said under his proposal, in the worst case, if a victim sought a divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences, “They’d be separated for a year, and the abuser is going to receive some counseling …. She’s not going to be forced to live in this situation.”

He added, “Our current system allows the abuser to go on to the next victim.”

The counseling, which could come from a clergyman, a mental health professional or a licensed counselor, might help, Dorr said. “That would just kind of seem to make sense. If they reconcile and get together and live happily ever after, then everyone wins.”

That’s the main purpose of the proposal, Dorr said: promoting reconciliation.

“It’ll slow down the divorces and actually cause people to consider the effects of this very substantial decision.”

Part of the reason for picking a year’s time for the separation is so that the couple will go through all the seasons, Christmas, birthdays, vacation without the family intact, Dorr said.

“They could try out this divorce thing, see if it’s what they really want. Most people seem to go into it not having a feel.”

Dorr’s bill would have child-custody, alimony and other decisions made at the start of the yearlong separation. If either party fails to attend counseling, that would be held against them in child-support and custody decisions.

The bill includes a provision that the year’s separation can be stopped, and a divorce granted, if either party can persuade a judge that real differences exist; reconciliation has been “actively and steadfastly pursued” over time and a “real opportunity for reconciliation has occurred;” and no reasonable opportunities for reconciliation remain.

Jen Ray, executive director of the Idaho Women’s Network, said, “Ultimately, I think it’s a noble thing to work to keep marriages together. But I think that’s really up to the individuals in the relationship. I don’t think it’s the government’s or the state’s position or responsibility to be getting involved in people’s relationships in that way.”

Dorr said he’s talked to a lot of people in developing his latest proposal and even if it doesn’t fly this year, he thinks it will bring about change in the long term.

“I think this is a wonderful piece of legislation,” he said.

, DataTimes