Counseling Is A Good Idea
Dear Ann Landers: Our son, 20, is confused about his gender identity. He told us that since high school he has had romantic fantasies about guys, not girls. He wants to see a counselor and become straight.
Is there any psychological, psychiatric or medical help for him, or is this his destiny? We don’t know what to tell him. Can you give us some guidance? - Midwest Parents in Turmoil
Dear Parents: A 20-year-old male who has romantic fantasies about other males is unquestionably homosexual. Counseling will not “straighten him around.” Nor is there any medication that will perform that magic.
I do recommend counseling, however. Your son needs to talk to a professional about his feelings. He needs to know that he is not a freak, that he is not alone and that he can have a satisfying, productive life.
Dear Ann Landers: Thank you for bringing stalking and violence against women to the public’s attention. You recently printed a letter from “Apprehensive in Houston,” who was concerned that a male acquaintance was harassing her. She said a restraining order would cost $500. I am concerned that this information might discourage other victims from getting protection.
A restraining order obtained through a private attorney is only one approach to the problem. A second avenue is to obtain a protective order through the district attorney’s office. This is FREE to the victim. And a protective order may be even better than a restraining order, since the perpetrator can be arrested on criminal charges if he violates it.
During my years in office, I have sponsored dozens of bills dealing with sexual and domestic violence and anti-stalking legislation. I encourage victims to use the resources available to them and call their local women’s shelters for more information. - Debra Danburg, state representative, Houston, Texas
Dear Debra Danburg: I appreciate hearing from you. The information you have provided can be extremely important to women who need it. Thanks for a valuable contribution to my readers.
Dear Readers: If you want a fascinating, riveting read, I have just the book for you. It was written by a man who served for four years in the South Pacific, worked as a correspondent for Newsweek in Paris, then became top editor of The Washington Post and made it one of the most influential newspapers in the world. He gives you the inside skinny on his friendship with John F. Kennedy, his investigative drive that led to discovery of the Watergate scandal, his three marriages and how he managed to buy Robert Todd Lincoln’s home for $2.5 million. I was sorry the book had only 499 pages. I wanted more. And you will, too. The title, “A Good Life,” by Ben Bradlee. The publisher, Simon and Schuster. The price, $27.50 ($37 in Canada).
Dear Ann Landers: What’s your opinion of a man using a discount coupon for dinner on a first date? The women in this office think it’s tacky. Our boss says that he sees nothing wrong with it and that a woman who would complain is a snob.
Most females I know would like to feel that we are worth full price. What do you think? - Kentucky
Dear Kentucky: For a first date, I’d pass on the discount unless the fellow is unemployed or a struggling college student. On the outside chance that he is only curious about the reaction, I’d give him another chance.