Don’t Flirt With Cyber Romances

Dear Ann Landers: The letter from “Outmaneuvered in Arizona” hit close to home. He was the man whose wife began an affair over the computer.

Six months ago, my wife, “Betsy,” told me I had been neglecting her because of my long hours on the night shift. Thinking it would occupy her time, I showed Betsy how to use the on-line chat service. Before long she was spending hours every night on the computer, chatting with men.

Betsy told me not to be threatened. She even showed me some pornographic images sent to her by one of her new “friends.” I asked why she would continue to talk to people who would send such kinky pictures. She insisted they were “nice guys” and it was all in fun.

Two months ago, I found a computer message Betsy had saved. She had told someone named “Bryan” that she was falling in love with him and was eager to meet him “in a neutral city” to find out if they were soul mates.

When I confronted her, she said it was a joke. Then I found a message saying she was sending Bryan a video of her stripping. This shook me up and made me realize the fun and games had gone too far.

I told Betsy the computer was destroying our marriage. She said I was being ridiculous. Last week, I got on the day shift and hope this will help. Meanwhile, Betsy is still on-line with Bryan, running up charges in excess of $300 per month. I need your help, Ann. - Fresno

Dear Fresno: I have been hearing a lot of late about on-line romances and have concluded that there are now hundreds of married men and women flirting with strangers in this manner.

You and your wife should seek joint counseling at once. Other married folks who are engaging in what appears to be a harmless pastime should be aware that they are playing with fire. Therapists have labeled this a genuine addiction.

Dear Ann Landers: I’m writing about the woman who was upset when a man kissed her husband on the lips at a funeral. When she questioned him, he said they were both Masons and this was a Masonic custom.

I am a 32nd Degree Mason, a Knight of Templar and a Shriner. I have been a member since 1968 and can assure you that there is no kissing on the lips between any of my brothers.

I have also been a member of the Elks Lodge since 1964 and am presently an officer of the Salem, Ill., Lodge 1678. There is no kissing on the lips among my Elks brethren either.

I hope the Lodge that guy belongs to will take a real good look at him. - G.W.G. in Salem, Ill.

Dear Salem: Before we judge “the guy” too harshly, let me tell you about something out of my own personal experience.

I was going through the receiving line of a fancy reception. A gentleman whose identity I shall not reveal was in that line, greeting the guests. He leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, which he had done many times before since we were longtime friends. I was not expecting such informality under the circumstances and turned my head to look at him. Lo and behold, the kiss caught me smack on the lips. His wife gave him a look that wilted his boutonniere and dried out my corsage. So - please don’t be too hard on the fellows at the funeral.