‘Floor Show’ Was Provided Free Of Charge

Let’s say you’re at the packed Cedars Floating Restaurant on New Year’s Eve and some guy keels over. He’s on his back, not moving and blocking your route to the salad bar. You’re starved. Meanwhile, the waitress says she can’t place your order until you visit the salad bar. What would Amy Vanderbilt do? Who cares? A young mother who hadn’t been on a date with her husband away from the kids for eons opted for Thousand Island over etiquette. Rather than step over the man - who later tossed his cookies - she cut through the kitchen to the salad bar. Later, an old-timer on a respirator blew a hose. The loud hiss brought would-be rescuers running once again. The young couple simply paid their $55 bill - after making sure they hadn’t been charged for the entertainment.

Born in a barn?

The ISP accident report of Ken Barnard’s crash near Kellogg added insult to injury. It told how the Portland trucker lost control of his semi and crashed into a guardrail, puncturing his fuel tank. But the report referred to him as “Barnyard.” That’s what you get for spilling 200 gallons of diesel all over … Mike Winderman of The Bookery had a ready observation when he spotted a bumper snicker that said, “I came, I saw, I shopped a little.” In Latin, said Mike, that’s “Veni, Vidi, VISA.” … My neighbors, the Rev. Earl and Mabel Hunter, celebrated their 80th birthdays and 55th wedding anniversary last year. Observes Earl in his annual Christmas newsletter: “We don’t feel old until we chance to see ourselves in a mirror or at traffic stops when we cross a street together.”

Few & far between

How scarce are Republican officeholders in Shoshone County? Idaho Rep. Don Pischner discovered he and Tom Dorr are the first Republican representatives since Bill Lytle in 1981. Prior to Lytle, the last GOP legislator served in 1955 … Just finished Frank Peretti’s new book, “The Oath.” Peretti, best-selling Christian author (“This Present Darkness”) and now a Shoshone County resident, obviously used Silver Valley scenes in his novel. My guess is that the fictional town of Hyde River actually is Murray. Any takers?

Revolving door

Gotta hand it to the Coeur d’Alene Press for printing that ex-business editor R. Dean Boyer is suing the paper. Of course, Brand X left out some of the juicy details. According to the lawsuit, Brand X promised Boyer the moon - or at least “a long, profitable and challenging relationship” - to woo him away from the Bellingham Business Journal. The “moon” was a three-week stay at the Press during which the rival Independent Business Record folded. Boyer was given the heave-ho from his $33,000-per-year job a week later, no expenses paid. So much for job security.

Huckleberries

What’s wrong with this picture? Same-bumper snickers said: “The Christian right is neither” and “Hate is NOT a family value.” And on the license plate holder? “Welcome to Idaho - now go home!” … Unfinished business: During the holidays, I hucked the “Three Amigas” - NIC Director Sue Thilo, Councilwoman Nancy Sue Wallace and CdA school Trustee Wanda Quinn - for controversial votes they’ve taken or are about to take. In return, they hand-delivered a nice Christmas card containing a photo of them, smiling broadly under sombreros. Now that’s class. (Whaddaya mean, H. Hound wouldn’t know class if he saw it?) … Another clever card came from the CdA school district. Elementary children drew Christmas scenes in crayon on the front. Dawn Herman of Borah colored the front of The S-R card. Gracias. (That’s Three Amigas talk for “thanks.”)

Parting shot

A clever poem by A.L. (Duff) Harstad in The Rotary Wheel reminds me that spring is near: “When it’s springtime up in Sandpoint/ It’s sometimes hard to know/That winter is really over/When you’re still knee deep in snow./But now there’s an indicator/The tipoff a weatherman loves/When it’s springtime up in Sandpoint/You’ll see Fuhrman out planting gloves.”

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huck? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review