January 11, 1996 in Features

The Slice But Who Could Pass Up Heston And The Milk Bottle

By The Spokesman-Review

Slice readers have spoken.

If “Planet of the Apes” had featured a Spokane theme, instead of the Statue of Liberty Charlton Heston would have come upon:

1. Clock Tower (most votes).

2. Spokane County Courthouse.

3. St. John’s Cathedral.

4. The big “BUFFET” sign rising high in downtown Spokane. (“Oh, my Gawd!” would have been Heston’s reaction line, suggested Dean Bethmann.)

See, it’s not just in Spokane: “Owners of four-wheel-drive vehicles seem to suffer some sort of brain malfunction whenever road conditions are bad.” - Kevin Cowherd, The Baltimore Sun

The Inland Northwest’s No. 1 asset: Do you ever encounter people who are so competent and so courteous that you find yourself thinking “If I were starting a business, I’d try to hire this person right on the spot”?

Well, we do. Just recently we were lost and dealt with a receptionist at Sacred Heart who oozed a sense of being on the ball. And then there was a cheerful guy at a busy espresso drive-through who remembered exactly how we like our hot chocolate even though we aren’t exactly regulars and hadn’t been by in weeks.

We could do without: Athletes on the sidelines flapping their arms, exhorting the crowd to demonstrate a more worshipful level of excitement.

Five more reasons raccoons are better company than many people: 1. They never talk about their near-death experiences.

2. They rarely brag about how much they are spending on their kitchen remodeling. 3. They never embarrass you by being rude to the waitress. 4. They don’t go on and on about their counterculture days. 5. They seldom put down your favorite shows.

Warm-up questions: What one word best describes the standards Spokane TV stations appear to use when deciding to break into regular programming with a news bulletin? Would The Weather Channel attract a bigger cable audience if it went with a “Baywatch” dress code? What is your least favorite business-world buzz word? (Our picks: “synergy” and all sports metaphors.)

Today’s Slice question: Should never having lived anywhere but in the Inland Northwest be viewed as an asset or as a liability?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.

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