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Kitchen Klutzes Ther Are No Two Ways To Slice It: Make Safety Your First Ingredient

The thought occurred to me, as I watched the blood pooling near the hash browns: I’ll bet a lot of accidents take place in the kitchen.

I was right.

In 1994, more accidents occurred in the kitchen than in any other part of the house, according to statistics compiled by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. Not even the workshop, humming with radial saws and welding torches, can claim as many injuries.

My injury was, in fact, prosaically common. While cutting potatoes, I had sliced a gash nearly through the tip of my finger. Unlike many kitchen injuries, mine was not serious enough to require a run to the hospital.

“We do see quite a few, and the greater share turn out to be knife injuries,” said Dr. Russell Roundy, emergency physician at Sacred Heart Medical Center in Spokane.

In fact, knives accounted for more emergency room visits than any other object found in the home, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s statistics.

But remember, knives don’t hurt people. Avocados and bagels hurt people. Most chopping injuries occur on something round.

“They’re cutting an avocado, and it gives way, and their finger is on the other side,” said Roundy.

The most notorious offender is the bagel. Bagel-related injuries are on the rise throughout the country, largely because of the bagel’s round shape and tough texture. A bagel is particularly awkward to slice in half unless you’re willing to slice your finger in half, too.

Frozen bagels are even worse. People have even been known to grab screwdrivers in an ill-advised attempt to chisel the two halves of a pre-sliced bagel apart. The screwdriver slips; great lamentation ensues.

Generally, cuts to the fingers are not hard to fix, and most will heal naturally.

“If the piece you cut off is less than roughly dime-sized, you’re better off to just let it heal in,” said Roundy. “You’ll end up with better sensation, and a better pad if you let it heal in.”

Anything larger than dime-sized may require surgery. At least, that’s the rule of thumb.

Cuts or punctures to the palm of the hand are a dicier proposition. Usually these occur when people hold an item in the palms of their hands when they try to cut it. Most of us know better, but some of us do it anyway.

“In the palm, it’s real easy to pick up an artery or a nerve, and end up with a half-numb finger,” said Roundy.

While knives are the undisputed kitchen-injury leader, they’re followed by drinking glasses.

Drinking glasses?

This is almost invariably a dish-washing injury. Someone stuffs a sponge or washcloth into the glass with a little too much enthusiasm. The glass shatters, and so does the silence.

“Those injuries are almost always in the web of the hand between the thumb and forefinger,” said Roundy. “Those can be good-sized cuts, but there’s nothing real vital in there.”

Still, it’s a good argument for buying a dishwasher.

Or is it? Even the dishwasher has caused its share of injuries, although mostly of a mundane variety. People trip over the open doors and bark their shins or worse.

Even the most innocuous kitchen item can suddenly transform itself into a weapon of terror. Roundy said that he sees a lot of toothpick injuries, from them being either stepped on or inadvertently swallowed.

“Once, a person came in complaining of appendicitislike symptoms in his abdomen,” said Roundy. “It turned out, it was a toothpick, stuck crosswise in his colon.”

Most swallowed toothpicks “go all the way through,” said Roundy, but this toothpick just happened to get crossed up. The guy was fine after the toothpick was removed (no word on whether it still had that frilly cellophane on it).

Almost any kitchen gadget you can think of has attacked someone at some time. The New York Times News Service recently reported that people are very capable of using plastic drinking straws to poke themselves in the eye, choke themselves or cut themselves.

If a drinking straw can do that, just think what a corkscrew could do. The imagination runs rampant.

And since people have managed to hurt themselves even with butter knives and spoons, it comes as no surprise that things can really get ugly around something like a food processor or an espresso machine (the glass carafes can shatter).

Burns are probably the most serious kind of kitchen injury. The typical burn is caused by hot grease, boiling water, or touching a cooking element. But the danger can come from unexpected sources, too.

Aluminum pots and pans can actually melt if they are placed on high heat and the contents are allowed to boil dry. If a person tries to pick up the pot, the molten aluminum can drip onto the hands, arms or feet. The Consumer Product Safety Commission said there have been several cases of burns from dripping aluminum.

Most kitchen burns are, fortunately, small localized burns that don’t require any special treatment. If you know what to do, you can minimize the damage.

Here are some safety tips for dealing with kitchen burns and other injuries:

Get your burn to the faucet, fast: “The trick is, if you get it under water within three seconds, it will be less serious,” said Roundy. “Most people jump up and down, going, ‘Ow, ow, ow.’ They’re just wasting time. Most people don’t do it quick enough.”

That’s because it takes time for a hot substance like grease or hot water to burn through the layers of skin. After you get to the soothing relief of the faucet, you’ll have plenty of time to say, “Ow, ow, ow,” or more creative phrases.

Keep your knives sharp: “People cut themselves with a dull knife far more often than a sharp knife,” said Roundy.

Why is that?

Because a sharp knife “cuts what you intend to cut,” as opposed to bouncing off and slashing your hand.

Cut round foods in half before chopping: This way, you can lay the cut side down for stability while doing the remainder of the job.

Don’t cut anything while holding it in your hand.

Curl your fingertips under while chopping: Maybe you’ll look like The Claw, but your fingertips will be safely out of danger while you hold an item for chopping. It’s a good habit taught to every professional chef.

Don’t try to grate every last morsel: Sacrifice that last little sliver of potato or cheese, or else you might sacrifice your knuckles instead.

And finally:

Exercise utmost caution around bagels and avocados: Remember, these items are not toys. And don’t get complacent while slicing hash browns, either.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Staff illustration by Molly Quinn