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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Cheap Seats

Snow job

The Blizzard of ‘96 back East is, flake by flake, making its way into sporting lore. The latest story to trickle in involved the basketball Eagles of Winthrop College. The team was stranded in Baltimore after arriving for games with Maryland-Baltimore County and Loyola - with nowhere to go for a hot meal. Well, almost nowhere. Coach Dan Kenney found a place.

A strip club.

“We had dinner there, breakfast there, lunch there,” Kenney said. “There was nothing open.”

Dan, something’s always open at a strip club.

Just call him Lynch Elliott

Someday, trading cards bearing the likenesses of Lin Elliott and Steve Bono might be worth a lot of money. But not in Kansas City, and not now.

Jeff’s Card Shop is giving away 200 cards of the two players made infamous by the Chiefs’ unexpected 10-7 NFL playoff loss to the Colts.

“We did it mainly as a joke,” said Gary Pickerill of Jeff’s, who’s given away about 50 cards. “We wanted to see how many disgruntled Chiefs fans there are. Most kind of laugh.”

That’s where the funny part ends. People in the Kansas City telephone directory named Lin Elliott, or just L. Elliott, began getting obscene phone calls within 48 hours of the game. It didn’t help when fellow Chief Derrick Thomas, appearing on teammate Neil Smith’s radio show the day after the loss, was heard to say that if Elliott walked into the downtown restaurant from where the show was being broadcast, Thomas was going to “kick his ass.”

Is there remedial home ec at Fairfield?

Paul Cormier meant well. In past seasons, his Fairfield University basketball team promoted togetherness by going bowling. This year, the Stags settled on a unity meal. The players would plan the menu, cook, serve and clean up. So with coaches, their wives and some children in attendance, the Stags prepared chicken, macaroni and cheese and salad.

The result: food poisoning. Ten players, two assistant coaches, a third assistant’s wife and a couple of children became sick. Most were hospitalized and Fairfield had to postpone a game against Iona.

The guilty dish, apparently, was the salad. Cormier had only a little and was just slightly queasy. The two players who weren’t sick didn’t have salad.

There was no unity meal before Friday’s game with Manhattan. Maybe the Stags went bowling.

Next time let the refs handle the home cookin’.

From the director of ‘Nixon’ … it’s ‘Wyche’

Fired by Tampa Bay, Sam Wyche will be an entertaining addition to any NFL studio show.

“After a critical story in the St. Petersburg Times,” wrote Howard Balzer in Pro Football Weekly, “Wyche accused reporters of walking the hallways of club headquarters, secretly taping conversations between players and coaches and then editing them together out of context. Look for Sam to be the subject of Oliver Stone’s next movie project.”

The last word …

“The Knicks still get the best tables in the restaurants. They get the table by the window, and we’re sitting by the bathroom.”

- Nets forward Jayson Williams, on the difference between playing in New Jersey and in New York

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo