Untouchable

Awfully nice of the Atlanta Braves to vacate their home for the duration of the Olympics, leaving behind soap and towels for the squatters.

If only they’d left John Smoltz behind, too.

As we touch ‘em all at these 1996 Olympic Games, a quick check of the scorecard reveals the United States leading the unofficial, uncouth and unbelievably important medal count. But there’s also a large number of Olympic sports we’re just no damn good at - not counting transportation - and Sunday we found another one.

Baseball.

Only joshing. We’re very good at it, of course.

We’re just not Cuba.

Joshing again. Obviously, if we’d sent our best players - not just our millionaires, but our multimillionaires - here as we did in tennis and men’s hoops, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Albert Belle would be warming us over the Olympic flame with one hand and readying Graham crackers and Hershey bars with the other.

So, to clarify: It’s our college kids who aren’t Cuba. Not yet. Not Sunday. Maybe Friday.

That’s when the United States should get a rematch with the Cubans for the gold medal - though with 51,223 fans in the seats at Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium and home runs punching new holes in the ozone layer, Sunday’s meeting certainly had a championship feel. Especially in the ninth inning, when the Americans had two on and the winning run at the plate. But Pedro Lazo closed out the U.S. with a pair of strikeouts and Cuba survived 10-8.

Close, but no Havana.

Oh, well. We’ve still got Guantanamo Bay.

Actually, we have a number of Fidel Castro’s all-stars, too - most recently Rolando Arroyo, the country’s best starting pitcher, who defected earlier this month. Osvaldo Fernandez and Livian Hernandez did the old Socialism shuffle last year.

You can hardly blame them. Baseball may be the red corpuscles of 11 million Cubans, but as low as their ERAs are, the GNP is even lower.

To see his aces hop into the sack with Lady Liberty does not make Fidel happy - nor does losing. So the Cubans don’t. Depending on who’s counting, the Cubans have won anywhere from 118 to 135 straight international tournament games since 1987. Nobody bothers to count a loss to Nicaragua in 1991 because they only used their JVs.

USA coach Skip Bertman was there when the streak started.

“Jim Abbott beat them in Indianapolis,” he recalled. “They’d never seen him pitch, and it was astonishing to them. The next year, Abbott pitched in Cuba and people couldn’t believe this amazing guy with one hand beat them. (Luis) Ulacia bunted on the first at-bat and Abbott threw him out. They stood and clapped for five minutes.”

It has taken nearly a decade, but the U.S. amateurs have regained some of that regard. Winning six of nine earlier exhibition meetings with the Cubans this year helped.

“The first five times we played them, there was no interaction,” said USA first baseman Travis Lee of Olympia. “They didn’t have any respect for us at all.”

And now?

“I expect it to be a great party in Havana tonight,” said Cuban coach Jorge Fuentes.

Because it’s a political victory, too?

“Absolutely,” he said, grinning.

“This game has a little bit of politicism to it,” Bertman agreed. “There’s some Americanism vs. Socialism and there isn’t much of that anymore in the Olympics. So if we play close, it’ll work in our favor. I think the pressure is enormous for coach Fuentes.”

And the repercussions.

“They could fire the coach, remove some players,” he said. “And the alternative isn’t like here where you get a job with another team. The alternative is sugar cane.”

And yet the way Cuba plays is far from deadly serious. Ulacia - yes, he’s still on the team at age 32 - flips a ball into the stands after a third-out catch in right. Cleanup hitter Orestes Kindelan takes so long to return to the dugout after a ground out he must have taken exit lessons from Linford Christie.

“The word is hubris,” said Bertman, who obviously coaches in college (LSU) and not in the big leagues. “They have great confidence to the point of arrogance - they play 150 games a year and win 142. They love attention. They also get bored.”

They are, on the average, 29 year olds playing against kids who often can’t buy beer without a fake ID. And unlike the World Series, the Olympics come around only every four years.

“Don’t forget,” Bertman said, “back in the ‘50s and ‘60s, one out of every 15 players in the big leagues was a Cuban.

“I’m telling you, they’re really good.”

Team USA isn’t bad. The five homers they hit - alas, all solo - on Sunday pushed their Olympic total to 23. If they could figure out when to take the pitch to right field, they’d be scary.

“Some of our guys,” Bertman said, “are going to be household names.”

Maybe not soon enough, however. Yes, there has been talk of opening Olympic baseball to the pros. Let’s start a pool. Pick the year the athletes’ village becomes a ghost town.

“We’re lucky to be on this team,” Lee conceded. “It’s important for us to win it, because this could be the last Olympics amateurs are part of.”

“In that case,” said Fuentes, “we will have to have our own Dream Team to play your Dream Team.”

At the current rate of attrition, Jorge, your Dream Team may be our Dream Team. , DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color Photos

MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: LOCAL WATCH How athletes from Washington and Idaho fared at the Olympics on Sunday: Track and field: Kelly Blair (Prosser), heptathlon, finished eighth with 6,307 points; Aretha Hill (UW), women’s discus, 183-10, did not qualify for final; Tony Li (China, ex-WSU), men’s high hurdles, 13.43, fourth in heat, qualifies for semifinals. Baseball: Travis Lee (Olympia), went 3 for 4 and drove in 2 runs in USA’s 10-8 loss to Cuba Basketball: John Stockton (Spokane), 2 points; Gary Payton (Seattle), 8; USA beat Croatia 102-71. Canoe/kayak: Scott Shipley (Poulsbo), men’s K-1 slalom, 12th. Women’s team handball: Dawn Allinger (ex-WSU), Hungary beat the USA 30-24. Rowing: Women’s eights, with Monica Tranel Michini (ex-Gonzaga) and Betsy and Mary McCagg (Kirkland), finished fourth in 6:26.19.; Men’s lightweight coxless fours, with Marcus Schneider (Everett), won the bronze medal in 6:12.29. Women’s soccer: Michelle Akers (Seattle) scored as USA d. Norway 2-1.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = John Blanchette The Spokesman-Review