An Nba Champ From The West? It Won’t Happen

I look both ways before crossing the street. I don’t play with matches. I always eat my vegetables, save, of course, rutabaga.

I’ve also done a pretty good job of adhering to another of mom’s teachings, which is that you never, ever say never. At least I’d done a pretty good job of maintaining optimism until I started watching the 1996 NBA Western Conference finals, which will be decided today between Seattle and Utah in a seventh game at the SuperSonics’ hanger.

Excuse my mouth, mom, but Seattle will NEVER beat Chicago in The Finals. Utah will NEVER beat the Bulls, either.

There are reasons, as has been said, that they play these games. The reason they will play this championship series is to sell ads.

The only question going into these Finals - which are scheduled to tip off Wednesday night in Chicago no matter who emerges from the muck out West - is whether Chicago’s challenger can escape the Bulls’ broom.

“I think in the first game, whoever plays the Bulls is going to be shocked,” said Penny Hardaway moments after the Bulls left his Magic team in shock, beating them four games to none in the much-anticipated Eastern Conference finals.

Not that there was much question that these playoffs would turn into a run with the Bulls to a title. They only won a record 72 games against 10 losses during the regular season. They’re only waiting for their Finals’ opponent after going 11-1 through this post-season’s first three rounds.

They’re only led by Michael Jordan, who needs no introduction on this planet. Jordan’s only supported by a fellow who might - if Jordan isn’t - be the game’s most-complete player, Scottie Pippen, and another guy who is arguably the game’s best rebounder and certainly its strangest, Dennis Rodman.

No, the Bulls weren’t going to lose this season’s championship, anyway. They aren’t the Detroit Red Wings. They were going to make history and certify it, too.

It did appear just a week or so ago, however, that the West would produce a suitable foil for the Bulls’ feat of winning their fourth crown over the past six seasons. The SuperSonics were leaving their challengers behind in a plume of smoke.

They raced past Sacramento after a slip-up in Game 2 of their opening postseason round. They jettisoned the two-time defending champions from Houston four games to none in the second round.

They roared to a three-games-to-one lead over the Jazz in their best-of-seven conference finals. They stopped the Jazz by 30 at home and by two on the road.

They demonstrated that their All-Star point guard-power forward combination of Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp was ready to supplant Utah’s John Stockton and Karl Malone as the league’s best. They looked to have as impressive a sixth man as Chicago’s Toni Kukoc in veteran Sam Perkins, who with 3-point range and a 6-foot-10 frame could match Kukoc point-for-point and inch-for-inch. Seattle’s veteran small forward Detlef Schrempf was putting together all-around games reminiscent of Pippen, plus making key plays down the stretch.

The SuperSonics even beat the Bulls once during the regular season, when Payton lit up the point guardless Bulls with 26 points and 11 assists. Seattle looked like it could, at the very least, be a thorn in Chicago’s Nikes.

Oh, well.

The SuperSonics, who lost three playoff games in a row each of the past two postseasons, are still just the SuperPSYCHOS. George Karloff should be their coach, not George Karl.

The Jazz, of course, has even less of a chance to make The Finals competitive. Its stars, Stockton and Malone, are to this campaign what Bob Dole is to his - old and creepy, er, creaky.

Utah hasn’t even played a June basketball game, let alone a Finals game. It will be pleased as punch just to make a Finals. Game 7 against Seattle will be as deep as the Jazz ever has gone in a season, unless, of course, it perseveres. Then, it will have the honor of getting buried by the Bulls.

“Has anybody considered,” asked Orlando owner Rich DeVos in the wake of his club’s humbling by the Bulls, “that Chicago is just too good this year and probably nobody will touch them?”

Upon further survey of the West, how about breathe on them?