Your Idea’s Bad In Every Way

Dear Ann Landers: I want to reply to “W.G.,” the widow who had an affair with a married man. She’s proud she’s still able to enjoy sex at age 70.

W.G. was critical of wives who complain about their husbands’ inadequacies yet don’t try to help them enjoy a good sex life. This may be true for some, but in my case, it is not my husband’s inadequacy but his strong sex drive and my lack of interest that pose the problem.

We have been married more than 50 years and have had a fairly satisfying sex life. Now, at 72, my body just doesn’t want any more sex. I figure we’ve done it at least 3,000 times. Shouldn’t I have the right to say “enough”? I would never cut him off completely, but my heart isn’t in it any longer.

I truly wish there was an organization for older people like my husband, who still like sex but whose partners don’t. They could get together with people like W.G., who still want sex but don’t have partners. After all, there are clubs for hikers, bungee jumpers, folk dancers and trampoline enthusiasts. Why not this? It would be emotionally healthy to reduce the guilt. Moreover, the wives of these men, like myself, would feel a great sense of relief knowing their husbands’ needs are being met. I would like your opinion. - Nameless in California

Dear California: Sorry, I cannot endorse your idea of a club for older men still interested in sex but whose wives have had enough. Giving a husband a pass to go find sex elsewhere because you’ve “had enough” is not only reckless but indecent.

Putting marital relations in the same category with hiking, bungee jumping, folk dancing and trampoline activity demonstrates a disturbing lack of understanding of what married love is all about.

Since your heart isn’t in it any longer but your husband is still hot to trot, I suggest joint counseling with a professional who can help you both find a satisfactory compromise.

Dear Ann Landers: The letter from “Double Duty in Dallas,” whose boss wanted her to type his 10-year-old daughter’s homework, hit home.

I worked for a man who expected me to be a slave to his children long after they became adults. Not only did I type their term papers - I had to compose them. I made appointments for them and travel arrangements, did personal shopping, completed college applications and financial aid forms, prepared and sent out resumes and cover letters, and scheduled interviews.

A few years ago, my boss died suddenly. His oldest son took me aside at the funeral and had the nerve to ask if I would type his term paper due the next day. I told him what he could do with his term paper. From then on, neither he nor the rest of the family ever spoke to me again.

The oldest son is still in college at age 33. The second son has been married and divorced twice and hasn’t held a job longer than two months. The third son has been in and out of jail. This is what can happen when parents fail to instill ambition in their children or teach them responsibility.

“Double Duty” should show this letter to her boss. It’s a glimpse of what the future will be like for him and his daughter. - M.W., Pittsburgh, Pa.

Dear Pittsburgh: Many wrote to say college students often pay someone to type their term papers. OK for term papers but 10-year-olds?

xxxx