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O say can you seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Kenny G’s extended rendition of the national anthem before Sunday’s Sonics-Bulls “game” at KeyArena left Bulls guard Steve Kerr with a dilemma.
“I’ve got to get loose for this game,” said Kerr, who rejoined warmups in midsong. “If he’s going to make a joke of the national anthem, then they just should have brought Roseanne in.”
“Charlie Lyons, zero-point-zero”
Since Charlie Lyons is credited with bringing championship hockey from Canada to Colorado, the Colorado Avalanche players weren’t about to let Lyons miss a minute of the Stanley Cup celebration.
Lyons, president of the company that owns the Avalanche and the NBA’s Denver Nuggets, flew home on the team charter Monday after Colorado completed a four-game sweep of the Florida Panthers. The effects of the ride showed Tuesday as a haggard Lyons accepted an invitation to a parade to honor the team today.
“You’ll have to pardon me because I had to fly back on what I would characterize as the Stanley Cup version of ‘Animal House,”’ Lyons said. “A few folks were allowed to sleep, but the players made certain I didn’t get 10 seconds of rest.”
They better hope Flounder’s brother doesn’t own the plane.
He should’ve seen the rejection coming
Uri Geller, who found fame by claiming he could bend metal forks and spoons with thought power, now says he can straighten out England’s wilting soccer team.
The Israeli-born psychic, who follows soccer in England, asked coach Terry Venables if he can apply psychic powers to motivate the team, which appears to have been shaken by Saturday’s confidence-sapping tie with Switzerland in the European Championship.
Geller suggested England could regain confidence simply by touching the ball used in the 1966 World Cup final, when the nation won its only major title.
But Geller’s offer wasn’t in the cards. “We appreciate everybody who is interested in the well-being of England’s footballers,” team spokesman Steve Double said, “but coach Venables felt this was one particular line that he was able to pass by.”
To say nothing of Dusty “Studa” Baker
From Los Angeles Times columnist Allan Malamud comes this note: “On the automotive front, the Dodgers, who once had Jerry Reuss, have signed first-round draft choice Damian Rolls.”
Shouldn’t I stand when you measure me?
The NBA’s annual predraft camp in Chicago is where overlisted college players usually shrink. Not this year. Kentucky’s Antoine Walker, who was listed at 6-foot8, came in at 6-10. The Clippers worked him out and found him to be 6-8.
There were so many unbelievable numbers, the NBA attempted to have players re-measured.
“We had doctors do it,” said an NBA official. “What could I tell you? You’d think if they got through medical school, they could measure someone.”
The last word …
“He sounded like Richard Milhous Chavez giving the Checkers speech in Spanish.”
Boston Globe writer Ron Borges, on excuses made by Julio Cesar Chavez after loss to Oscar De La Hoya
, DataTimes