Possibilities Abound For Scorsese, Mad Duck

Martin Scorsese has left Universal Pictures for a new deal with Walt Disney. -Variety

Dear Shareholders:

The smartest entertainment conglomerate in the Western World. The most respected director in Hollywood. We have one word for it: synergy. And we have a lot of exciting projects ahead.

Here’s just some of what we already have on the drawing board:

“Green Streets”: Cartoon feature. An exciting new melodrama starring Kermit the Frog as a guilt-ridden wiseguy trying desperately to keep his crazy friend Fozzie Boy out of trouble. Challenging and sure to be controversial; we may need Marty to snip some of the Miss Piggy sausage-factory scene to get an R - but definitely Oscar-bait.

Casinoland: Theme-park ride. Finally, an exciting new addition to the Magic Kingdom. Guests ride the Sharon Stone Career Roller-Coaster and gamble with Donald Bucks. Meanwhile, characters in giant De Niro heads and polyester pants pick their pockets. Also on the boards: Wiseguys of the Caribbean.

“Raging Duck”: Biopic. Facing difficulties in his own career, racked with suspicions over the parentage of Huey, Dewey and Louie, Donald Duck destroys himself and those around him. Powerful drama, with a breakout performance by Minnie Mouse as his voluptuous wife.

“The Last Two-Step”: Boxed CD set. The soundtrack to Marty’s upcoming documentary on the final concert of the Lawrence Welk Band, enlivened by guest appearances by Robbie Robertson, Neil Young, Bob Dylan and Myron Cohen. A final, all-star medley of the “Beer-Barrel Polka” and “Come Back to Sorrento” is a true cross-cultural feast.

“Mighty Ducks III: Whaddaya, Kiddin’ Me?”: Live-action film. When mobster Joe Pesci enters the witness-protection program - and gets handed a job coaching a hockey team - you know the only thing you can count on is comedy!

The Hall of Wiseguys: Theme-park attraction. A new Animatronics exhibit: Joey Clams, Frankie Bones, Johnny Two-Times and other famous entrepreneurs get up from their espresso, amble across the stage and tell audiences how to calculate the vig on a 10-grand loan, who does the best job of rigging pinball machines, and how to get stubborn blood stains out of vises, trunks and back seats.

That’s some of what we’ve got planned right now, and that’s just for ‘96. As for ‘97 - well, as Marty would say, hey, forgettaboutit!

Best,

Walt Disney Studios