Many of you know by now that the courts sealed the date of Mark Fuhrman’s deposition. But did you know that the marker used to black out the date on legal documents wasn’t dark enough? Yep. An inquiring mind could hold the paper up to the light and read the date. So spoilsport District Judge Jim Michaud broke out the scissors and excised the date from several pages. As a result, he picked up a nickname. You guessed it. “Judge Scissorhands.” Eat your heart out, Johnny Depp.
All the news that fits
Well, it’s not The New York Times’ “All the news that’s fit to print.” But Publisher Paul Friend of the Idaho News Observer has a clever slogan for his Silver Valley weekly, too: “It’s my paper, and I’ll pry if I want to.” … Matt Roetter says the Jackpot Food Mart sign on Northwest Boulevard gives new meaning to full-service station: “Clean restroom: Do it all in one stop.” … Seems Benewah County commissioners had more in mind than out-of-work loggers when they allowed residents to build on the St. Joe flood plain. Seems Commissioner Jack Buell has built a palace along the river dike. His basement has flooded three times this winter. … Rumorama: Hizzoner, Raymond L. Stone, may be considering a run for the North Idaho College board of trustees this fall. Few are more qualified. Besides, elected officials around here are boring. I miss the ex-Mayor-for-Life’s impromptu comments. Huckleberries misses them. Altogether now: We want Uncle Ray.
Party guys love hydros
Scott Reed (the attorney, not Bob Dole’s campaign manager) tells me that the anti-hydroplane petition drive is going well. The main resistance comes from (drum roll, please) young men, 20 to 25 years old. Surprise! … Ivy Randel of Pinehurst says close encounters with clueless telephone operators (Huckleberries, March 4) are nothing. When her car didn’t start earlier this winter, Ivy called a national towing service she’d joined through the American Association of Retired Persons. First, Ivy had to convince the operator that she didn’t live in Iowa. Then she discovered she resided in a non-service area. That explains the tow company’s low annual premium of $29.50.
I bit on Ken McLaughlin’s clever work-wanted classified in the St. Maries Gazette-Record: “Hard worker. Anything legal (245-5626).” He roofs, details cars, cooks, paints houses. Unfortunately, he doesn’t ghost-write columns. Onward. … Scanner traffic: The paramedics said it was only a flesh wound, and Momma was rushing home. I’d love to have been a fly on the wall last Monday when her 9-year-old boy explained the fireplace poker sticking out of his foot. … Kudos to Nordstrom. The Seattle store recently sent out postcards inviting flood victims to make special arrangements if they were unable to make a payment. … Close Encounters With A Phone Operator: A bloodhound seeking the Arizona attorney general’s number asked a directory assistant if Tucson was the state capital. “Well,” replied O, “the people who live in Tucson think that, but no, Phoenix is the state capital.” … State Rep. Tom Dorr, R-Post Falls, won another of Idaho Statesman columnist Dan Popkey’s fictitious honors: The Sally Field Award for Revealing Personal Moment. Seems Tom told his House mates about his wife’s ultrasound. Quoth Tom: “We are not having babies. When it happens, I’ll be sure to let this body know first.” Huh?
Pat Raffee was forced out as Concerned Businesses of North Idaho exec, says my bloodhound network. Seems the female dynamo angered a bigwig or two by surveying membership about the late, not-so-great hydroplane race proposal. The board was split on the issue. But the powers that be didn’t want folks to know that. So Pat got the ax. She was the best thing that happened to the CBNIers since they pulled out their wallets and began buying local elections. Big boys have big feelings.
, DataTimes The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review