How Sweet It Is Church’s Chocolate ‘Indulgences’ Raise Money For Spokane Neighborhood

It was divine inspiration.

In a spoof of one of medieval Christianity’s most cockeyed practices, St. Ann’s Roman Catholic Church began to sell crocks of chocolate “indulgences.”

They’re gourmet white and dark chocolate mints made by Spokandy and molded with the image of St. Ann’s cupola.

After a year and a half of sales, church leaders are seeking grant applications for the profits. All of the money raised will pay for projects designed to resurrect St. Ann’s beleaguered East Central neighborhood. Agencies must apply by Monday noon for the first $1,000 grant, but the sweetly indulgent fund-raiser will continue.

The joke spins on historical fact. It was the sale of indulgences that sparked the entire Protestant Reformation.

Five hundred years ago, a priest named Johann Tetzel preyed on the gullible, promising that church donations would instantly zap deceased relatives into heaven. His translated marketing jingle: “When the coin in the coffer rings, a soul from purgatory springs.”

The outrage of German theologian Martin Luther helped launch the reformation.

“We Catholics are making fun of something that was inherently ludicrous,” says Tom Westbrook, a former St. Ann’s council member who dreamed up the scheme.

Christians who are well-steeped in church history laugh immediately.

“I think it’s hilarious,” says Mitch Finley of Spokane, author of “The Joy of Being Catholic.”

Finley wrote articles about the St. Ann’s fund-raiser which appeared in a half-dozen religious magazines. Orders began arriving from delighted Catholic bishops and nuns from Hawaii to New York.

Lutherans chuckle, too. At a special ceremony, the Rev. John Olson, pastor of neighboring Grace Lutheran Church, accepted a crock of St. Ann’s candy with a grin. “If they hadn’t sold indulgences 500 years ago, I’d be a Catholic today,” he quipped.

Spiritual claims aside, these contemporary indulgences do soothe the tormented souls of chocoholics. They’re sold exclusively at Kaufer’s Christian Supplies, 907 W. Boone. Prices range from 50 cents for a single chocolate to $99 for a giant crock.

Checks must be made out to St. Ann’s, which has a new Latin motto: “Sola Ecclesia illas etiam nunc vendens.”

Translation: “The only church that still sells them.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color Photo