The Slice Now, Where Did I Leave Those Italian Chopsticks?
Grand Coulee’s Patti Tufts was at a Chinese restaurant in Spokane with her 6-year-old son.
The little boy overheard a waitress speaking Chinese. Then he turned to his mom. “Is that lady a stallion?” he asked.
Tufts figured it out. “What he meant was ‘Italian,”’ she said.
Top three bad habits of Inland Northwest know-it-alls such as ourselves: 1. Adopting some stupid personal habit and then, without bothering to notice if anyone else does it, declaring it a trend. 2. Assuming strangers are interested in our lives. 3. Ridiculously believing that our limited circle of acquaintances represents some sort of regional cross-section.
Try not to think about this: People who rely on psychic hotlines can vote.
Some people look tired all the time: Because they are seriously allergic to cats and are resigned to spending the rest of their lives repeating “No, that’s thoughtful of you, but putting Bootsie in the other room won’t make any difference.”
Slice answer: “And how would life in Washington be different if the dry side of the state called the shots?” faxed Hartline’s Jerry Dormaier. “The painfully obvious answer is, with the exception of some varied topography, it would be indistinguishable from life in Northern Idaho! There would be a secession vote, it would pass, and George Nethercutt would be elected King for Life with the NRA serving as an advisory congress.”
Warm-up questions: Besides law enforcement, politics and journalism, which professions often seem to attract exactly the wrong personality types for the work involved? When a couple is at the video place, is it possible for the man to suggest renting, say, “Trading Places” or “The Waterdance” without arousing suspicions that the movies’ topless scenes are the reason for his interest in those selections? When you are visiting someone’s home and see a copy of the Utne Reader, do you reflexively shift into an obnoxious politically correct version of yourself?
Today’s Slice question: On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being “Extremely well,” how well would you say the Inland Northwest is served by the Spokane area’s news media? , DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing
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