Who Thought Those Up? Could It Be … Satan?
So what’s Dana Carvey’s new comedy show called again? Try “commercial disaster.”
ABC executives had planned to name the former “Saturday Night Live” player’s show after a different sponsor each week, spoofing them in sketches that would keep getting “a little more outrageous.”
But Taco Bell and Pizza Hut bailed out after the “Taco Bell Dana Carvey Show” last Tuesday featured a breast-feeding President Clinton, dancing Taco Bell servers who called Carvey a “whore” and a list of new titles for Princess Diana including “the slut formerly known as Princess.”
Said a Taco Bell spokeswoman: “We’re in the business of selling tacos and burritos, not offending people.”
Tune in tomorrow for “The Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey Show.”
Loose talk
Screenwriter/ playwright Paul Rudnick, on his shopping sense: “The Almighty functions as something of a divine personal shopper, guiding each of us to just the right camel duffel coat. To refuse the coat in favor of, say, paying an MCI bill would be blasphemous.”
Seven whole decades? It doesn’t seem possible
Peter Graves turns 70 today.
Sort of like her relationship with Charles
Princess Diana has gone on the offensive in response to rumors that British rugby star Will Carling confessed to having an affair with her. “They were neither romantically nor sexually involved,” an unidentified friend of Diana’s told London’s Daily Express.
Guess there are still a few good men left
In the good deed department, Tom Cruise not only rescued a recent hit-and-run victim in Santa Monica - calling for an ambulance on his car phone and making sure the woman got to a hospital - but paid her medical bills after discovering she had no insurance.
His heart is brave, but his appendix was weak
“Braveheart” actor/director Mel Gibson is recovering from an emergency appendectomy, but it shouldn’t stop him from attending next Monday’s Academy Awards. Said a publicist: “He’s doing great. I don’t know how long he has to rest, but it won’t be long.”
Which will be kind of like Carol channeling
When Carol Channing accepts a lifetime achievement award today from the Los Angeles Drama Critics Circle, she’ll be lauded from beyond the grave by George Burns. A note dictated the day before he died reads: “Gracie and I knew you were a star years ago when we met, and you just keep getting better. I heard you were a smash in Altoona, and I guess you’ll keep doing ‘Hello, Dolly!’ until you get it right.”
She was taught to keep her feelings bottled up
Former “I Dream of Jeannie” star Barbara Eden is making no apologies for a soon-to-be-released doll based on the old TV series that says “Yes, master.” As Eden told TV Guide: “How can anyone knock her for not being a feminist? She’s a genie.”
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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino