Learn More About Yourself

Dear Ann Landers: I have been straight all my life and always have put my family first. I am married and have children who are almost grown. Lately, I’ve had thoughts that I would be happier living with another woman rather than with a man. What I’m trying to say is I have strong lesbian leanings and want to explore the possibilities.

This didn’t happen overnight. I have had these feelings for some time. I am not involved with another woman yet, but I am definitely looking for a potential “partner.”

I know you can’t tell me to go ahead and do this, but maybe you can help me make sense of it. - Trying to Stay Straight But Losing the Battle

Dear Trying: Your letter suggests to me that you are bisexual, even though you have not acted on your bisexual impulses.

I urge you to seek a psychological evaluation before you make any decisions about this. You need to find out what you are and who you are and weigh the consequences of coming out of the closet. Should you decide to take that course of action, be aware it will affect every aspect of your life, as well as the lives of your family members.

Dear Ann Landers: I had to write when I read the letter from “Bill in Oregon,” who has a bipolar disorder (manic-depression). I suffer from that malady and have read everything I can about it. Besides counseling and medication, there are lifestyle changes that have been key to my own continuing recovery. May I give Bill a few pointers that might help?

First, get adequate sleep. Even if you must use sleeping pills, make sure you sleep every night. Eat regularly and avoid excessive use of sugar and caffeine. Stay away from alcohol. Other people can drink, but we cannot.

Make a conscious effort to reduce the stress in your life. If it means changing jobs, do it. No job is worth dying for. Your state department of vocational rehabilitation can help you get training to change to another career, if necessary.

As you suggested, Ann, the National Depressive and Manic Depressive Association is a great resource and will give referrals to local support groups. It is helpful to know there are others who are coping with this illness. Please pass the word, Ann. - M.S., Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

Dear M.S.: Consider it passed. Meanwhile, I hope you have a good doctor who keeps your medication balanced. This can make a world of difference.

Dear Ann Landers: The surgeon general has a warning on cigarettes. Many states have seat belt laws. Some bottles of sparkling wine have a label urging caution in opening because the cork could pop out and hit somebody in the eye. Why, then, are there no warning labels on handguns?

Better yet, why is it virtually impossible to win a product liability suit against a manufacturer of firearms? Why do juries penalize the purveyors of hot coffee and chili when unbelievably dumb people scald themselves, yet nobody sues gun makers and sellers over the deadly harvest?

I’ll tell you why. When a 7-year-old accidentally shoots himself in the head with the pistol his daddy keeps in the bedside drawer, the gun has done exactly what it was made to do. - Unarmed, Raleigh, N.C.

Dear Raleigh: You’re right on. Thanks for the bull’s eye.

xxxx