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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

What Dole needed was a triple-Truman

Bob Dole said he’d do it and he did it! He pulled a Truman! He surged a whopping 6 points on Election Day, not enough to beat Clinton, of course, but enough to whip the heck out of Thomas E. Dewey!

Please, Ross, run again

I hope Ross Perot runs again in the year 2000. Just what this country needs: a new Harold Stassen.

The turnover in the Clinton Cabinet

Surprising shuffle in the Clinton Cabinet: Mickey Kantor out as Commerce Secretary, in as “guy who drinks beer in the basement and pores over FBI files.”

Craswell should have done better

I can’t believe Ellen Craswell received only 722,000 votes. She had more yard signs than that in Wilbur alone.

Hey! Who are you calling a dummy?

Councilman Chris Anderson said Monday he was resigning because of “the raging personal battle” waged against him by “powerful puppetmasters.” Puppetmasters? Oh great. Now he thinks Edgar Bergen, Jim Henson and Geppetto are out to get him, too.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views expressed are those of the writer.

Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views expressed are those of the writer.