Respect For Each Other Key To Better Relations
Dear Readers: Here are the answers to the letters I wrote to myself last week and those you wrote regarding the loss of judgment in public schools.
Dear Jennifer: Why do smokers use silly examples like eating meat, playing music, drinking beer, or making noise as comparisons to second-hand smoke?
Phil
Dear Phil:
When I was in high school, smoking was OK. Our fathers smoked back then. Now if you smoke, people may be sympathetic because of the addiction, but they do not want to tolerate the smoke. No other substance so easily pollutes the air we all must breathe.
Smoke makes some people sick and many just plain irritable. Eating meat sets up your own cholesterol, not anyone else’s. Obnoxious music is irritating but not unhealthy, and we have laws against too much noise. Beer is the same as beef, unless you drive.
So what does compare to second-hand smoke? Water is my best bet. If you are a smoker and wonder what all the hostility is about, just imagine someone pouring a mild carcinogen into your drinking water.
Dear Jennifer:
There is not enough “meaningful work” available for all those who will find their welfare checks ending. What can we do so they don’t turn to crime or violence?
Teresa
Dear Teresa:
Welfare somehow shifted from a safety net for people caught in tragedy or trouble to a longer term program for those who choose not to work. Now that the issue of work is being raised, some readers feel that being a maid, waiter, clerk, street sweeper, etc., is somehow not meaningful.
How could any work be less meaningful than demanding public assistance when you are able to work? It seems foolish to have a second child if you cannot support the first. Any job has worth if someone is willing to pay you to do it. I’ve shoveled crap, washed dishes, done laundry, waited tables, etc., and so have most of my friends and neighbors.
“Meaningful work” is a possibility for most of us only after lots of hard work and education.
Buying off a group because you fear violence is demeaning to them and to our society, and it doesn’t work. People who work for what they have are less likely to steal; they understand the connection between work and property. People who work raise kids who work and they are far less likely to be violent than kids who live without viable role models.
Dear Jennifer:
What can a 36-year-old man who has spent many years in prison do to change his life?
Mort
Dear Mort:
Good citizens want humility and conformity from their ex-cons. What they are afraid of is an attitude. The easiest route is to look like a choir boy (hair, clothes, behavior), join a church and go to school. The more safety you create with your presence, the quicker you’ll find doors opening. Work at whatever you can get that is in a good environment, and take at least one class at some school. Stay away from alcohol, drugs and women (unless you are married) until you have solved most of your problems.
Sounds impossible or boring, but that’s the easy way. If you hold onto your past ways of looking, talking and doing, people who could help you will not be willing to take the chance. Maybe giving up so much doesn’t seem fair, but it’s the way things are. Try it for one year. You know the alternative.
Dear Jennifer:
Two weeks ago I wrote asking why teachers cannot make reasonable judgements about children’s behavior.
Gloria
Dear Gloria:
Somewhere along the line in the last 20 years, some teachers and school administrators opted out of the role of using common sense about pills (Midol), teasing vs sexual harassment, weapons (knives in lunch boxes), etc. They were caught between narcissistic parents, union regulations, changing standards of discipline and attorneys.
The best way back is for parents to start trusting teachers and school administrators and be willing to sign mediation contracts.
Teachers may have to insist on civility and discipline. Attorneys must stop filing frivolous lawsuits and promising their clients settlements they cannot and should not deliver.
Well, I feel better. Now it’s your turn.
Jennifer
xxxx
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Jennifer James The Spokesman-Review