Oh, Quit Your Cryin’, This Ain’t No Nursery, Rimes

Fourteen-year-old country diva LeAnn Rimes may be hailed as the second coming of Patsy Cline, but she’s still lacking some class - the educational kind, that is.

Rimes (“Blue”) says she had to leave Brandenburg Middle School in Garland, Texas, because jealous classmates were making her life miserable: “I had a lot of friends, but there were these four girls who were scaring me.” The bad eggs not only egged her locker, they even tried to stuff her inside.

Explained another student: “Some kid thought she was showing off and took it in a jealous way.”

Rimes, now being schooled at home, passed tests that allowed her to skip the seventh and eighth grades.

Loose talk

Shockmeister Stephen King, on his literary goals: “I want to mess with your life. I want you to miss appointments, burn dinner, skip your homework. I want you to tell your wife to take that moonlight stroll on the beach at Waikiki with the resort tennis pro while you read a few more chapters.”

But it’s still too early to write her off

Angela Lansbury turns 71 today.

However, Tim tends to wear shorter skirts

Faith Hill, who married fellow country star Tim McGraw last week, says their romance blossomed after McGraw invited her over for some home cooking. “I was thinking, ‘Yeah, right, homemade,”’ Hill told The (Nashville) Tennessean. But when she dug into the dumplings, chicken and corn bread, she said, “It tasted just like my mom’s.”

He’s seen the real Dole and the damage done

Was that Neil Young sporting a Dole-Kemp campaign T-shirt at Willie Nelson’s annual Farm Aid benefit concert the other day? Not exactly. Upon closer inspection, Young’s shirt actually read, “Role-Hemp.”

The goat probably has more common scents

When the British tabloid the Sun asked its readers, “Who would you rather date, Fergie or a goat?”, seven out of eight people who responded chose the goat. But that hasn’t stopped the Duchess of York (aka Sarah Ferguson) from trying to pitch a perfume named for her, People magazine reports, although Revlon has passed.

Especially if it’s a metal one, with points

Miss America Tara Dawn Holland insists she’s no carpetbagger, even though she just recently moved to Kansas to attend college following three failed attempts at becoming Miss Florida. Says Holland: “I learned a long time ago that home is where you hang your hat.”

Here’s hoping that he’s out of jeopardy

Entertainment mogul Merv Griffin has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, but doctors expect him to make a full recovery. The 71-year-old former talk-show host is the creator and executive producer of game shows including “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino