A New Low - Even For Thieving Scumbags

It’s not often that a hard case like me, a man who once had his underwear stolen, is shocked by how low the local lowlifes will go.

But it happened the other day, when I heard about two recent Spokane incidents that are unrelated except for their significant sleaze factor.

Our first journey into The Slimeball Zone involves a 33-year-old espresso jockey at Sacred Heart Medical Center.

Sharon Jarvis was putt-putting home on her Honda motor scooter Aug. 30 when disaster struck. An elderly woman in a sedan turned in front of her on North Foothills Drive.

“The last thing I remember,” recalls Sharon, “is hitting something heavy and hard.”

The force of the car on her lightweight bike sent Sharon thudding into the windshield. Her helmet probably saved her life, but the blow split her forehead, knocked out a front tooth, bruised some ribs and broke her right leg in two places.

Those were the injuries.

The insult came later.

As the Samaritans rushed to save the unconscious, bleeding woman, somewhere in the concerned crowd a heartless snake slithered.

While no one looked, a hand went into her purse and made off with just about every cent Sharon had: $179 she took from home to pay her monthly bills and about 20 bucks that she’d made in tips that day.

“That hurts almost as much as the accident,” says Sharon, who spent a week in the hospital and will be out of work for five months.

“I’d give my last dime to anyone who needed it, but whoever took my money obviously couldn’t have any feelings for another human being.”

Think that’s terrible? Get ready for round two of today’s Outrage Odyssey, which centers on the Sept. 14 wedding of Krista and Bill Gonzalez.

It was the sort of lovely, romantic fete people dream about.

The morning’s rainy weather cleared up just in time for the afternoon ceremony. Everyone showed up on time. Nobody fumbled their lines.

The ivory bridesmaid’s dresses looked beautiful against the classy backdrop of Patsy Clark’s mansion, where the wedding was held on the landing.

“Everything was so totally perfect that I kept waiting for something to go wrong,” says Krista, 31, a hairdresser. “But I wasn’t expecting anything this wrong.”

The wedding reception was held at the West Central Community Center. Krista says guests danced, ate and placed money in one of her husband’s boots. Bill, 27, is a Spokane firefighter at station 15.

Somewhere in this joyous crowd crawled another heartless, greedy snake.

The crime was discovered the next day while Krista opened the presents. Someone had been there first, tearing open the envelopes in the boot and scooping out the cash.

“It’s hard to tell,” says Krista with disgust, “but it looks like between $300 to $600 was taken. It’s pretty pathetic.”

It sure is. What kind of person steals from a bleeding accident victim? Or rips off a bride and groom on their happiest day?

Most run-of-the-mill thieves probably wouldn’t slide that far into the sewer. Unfortunately, there are plenty of two-legged reptiles around with absolutely no shred of decency or compassion.

I learned this when I was young. My wife was washing clothes in the community laundry at our apartment complex.

She left for a few minutes to make a telephone call. While she was gone, some shameless fiend made off with everything we had in the dryer: the sheets and towels from our wedding.

And all my underwear. Jockeys. Size 36.

Underwear thieves. Since that day I’ve never looked at humanity the same.

, DataTimes