Keep Valuables Locked Away
Dear Ann Landers: I have discovered that my sister-in-law, “Sharlene,” has been stealing from us. My husband defended her and refused to believe it until I presented him with the evidence. We went over to her house and demanded that she give back the things she took - pictures, videos and even some of my underwear.
Sharlene has been stealing from her parents for years, but they choose to ignore it. My in-laws say it’s more important to keep peace in the family than to worry about possessions. So last week, I wrote Sharlene a letter saying we need to bridge this gap and work through our differences.
When Sharlene received my letter, she telephoned my husband, in tears, refusing to take any responsibility for what she has done. She focused all her anger on me. My father-in-law says she is jealous of the relationship I have with my husband. Before we married, she and her brother were extremely close. Now that I’m the No. 1 woman in his life, she resents it.
My in-laws and my husband are 100 percent supportive, but I don’t know how to get past this rift with Sharlene. I don’t trust her and probably never will, but I don’t want to cut her out of our lives completely. How would you handle this? - Stumped in San Bernardino
Dear Stumped: You have offered Sharlene the opportunity to be part of your lives in spite of the fact that you know she has been stealing from you. I’d say that’s pretty darned generous. If she rejects it, the onus is on her.
Invite her to your home soon (lock up the valuables), and hope for the best. If she helps herself to your pantyhose, tell your husband that from now on you get together elsewhere. (Sounds to me like Sharlene could use some professional help.)
Dear Ann Landers: My wife and I are writing in response to “Too Well-Rested and Would Love to Be Exhausted.” She said you print only letters from people who get too much sex or not enough. She asked, “Aren’t there any married couples who enjoy sex with each other and aren’t out looking for someone more exciting?”
We can answer her question because we are one of those couples. The secret is that first, you have to be in love with the person you marry. Then, you must keep the lines of communication open. Too many couples don’t really talk to each other. It’s easier to turn on the TV. Do things together, even if it’s just the dishes. Husbands, take your wives away for a weekend. A suburban motel is fine if that’s all you can afford. It will be fun.
My wife and I have been married for nearly 18 years, and we have made love almost every night (or day) - even when I didn’t think I felt like it. You would be surprised what a little tender touching and kissing can do to get you in the mood. Sometimes, it takes more energy than you think you have, but it’s worth the effort. This is our secret formula for a successful marriage. Spread the word, Ann. - Jacksonville, Fla.
Dear Jacksonville: Consider it spread. I can tell that you and your wife have a healthy relationship. Congratulations. A good marriage these days is not a gift - it’s an achievement. The key is in your letter - do things together, keep the lines of communication open and accommodate one another, even if you don’t feel like it.
xxxx