Smelly, Lumpy Sleeping Bag Yields … More

Dum-ta-dumdum. Dum-ta-dumdumdum. Evil was afoot when sheriff’s deputies were called to investigate a smelly sleeping bag recently. A walker had found a hat under the Centennial Bridge, east of town. Then, a coat. Then, a woman’s purse. Finally, as he continued to walk, he spotted a sleeping bag - with something in it. And, whatever that something was, it smelled bad. Unnerved, the stroller called the cops without investigating further. Much to everyone’s relief our Joe Fridays didn’t find a dead body when they unzipped the sleeping bag - just two more smelly sleeping bags. A crime had happened, though. The purse had been stolen. The names in this Huckleberry have been withheld to protect the innocent. Dum-ta-dumdum.

Copspeak

Why can’t police officers say what they mean? They use words like “affirmative” instead of “yes.” And “land-line” for “telephone.” Our Man on the Palouse spotted this note on the Moscow police blotter: “Upon arrival, officers found the basement apartment of the structure fully engaged.” To be married? Why not say, “engulfed” or “on fire”? … During a recent trip to Coeur d’Alene, April Muhs of Kellogg was amused by the house ads on Coeur d’Alene Inn TVs. She had sought lodging after her car failed to start. As she turned on the motel sets, April noticed ads touting the inn’s features - most with Coeur d’Alene’s first three vowels scrambled. Perhaps someone should check the spelling on the motel’s neon outside. … Northwest Boulevard offers its share of misspellings, too. First, there’s Computer System’s of Idaho (which shouldn’t have an apostrophe). Then, there’s the Pines Restaurant, offering cosy rooms. Of coors, the S-R building farther down the rode never errors.

Phone mail

Mike Kerfoot of Post Falls claims Coeur d’Alene reservation farmers are stealing his lines. Mike says he wrote a letter to a newspaper in 1973 suggesting: “I’ve a solution to the problem of the prairie fires. If we let the farmers plant marijuana along with their grass, then once a year when they burn, no one would care. Just think what it’d do for tourism in the county.” In Huckleberries Past (Sept. 23), a grass grower used a similar line.

Huckleberries

Mary Lou Wilson is the latest in a series of readers amused by the sewer project sign at Kathleen & Honeysuckle. You know, the one supported by Gov. Philip E. Ball. … Bumpersnicker on a Toyota pickup with California plates: “NW ASAP.” … Yes, the cover girl for the Sept. 14, 1947, issue of Life magazine looks familiar. It’s the eyes. The model, the late Barbara Heine, passed them along to her daughter, Dee Eastwood of Coeur d’Alene. The 1947 fall fashion cover, featuring “Truly Barbara” Heine, is one of hundreds reproduced as part of Life’s current 60th anniversary edition. … Bumpersnicker on a Mazda pickup with Arizona plates in Pullman: “We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?” … Bumpersnickers on a pickup camper shell: “I’m the Christian the devil & the liberal media warned you about” and “Idaho: The Whitewater State.” Do you suppose Arkansas minds the competition? … The Idaho Association of Counties has made it official: Kootenai County Assessor Tom Moore is the state’s best elected official. He now has the IAC’s Mills Adler Award to prove it. And a Huckleberry Hound “sa-a-a-lute.”

Parting shot

The best show in North Idaho this election season will take place in a Bonner County courtroom. There, Public Defender Phil Robinson will defend confessed murderer Faron Lovelace against Prosecutor Tevis Hull. Republican Robinson, Independent Hull and Democrat John Topp are candidates for Hull’s post. In this case, Tevis is willing to oblige Lovelace’s request to be executed for killing a fellow racist. The trick here for Phil is to save Lovelace’s hide without irritating the tough-on-crime public. Let the games begin.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huck? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125; e-mail: daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review