September 30, 1996 in Features

The Slice Making Too Many Ridiculous Generalizations? It’ll Cost Ya

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Put a jar in some central spot at your workplace.

Then, whenever someone slanders Spokane with a truly ridiculous broad-brush generalization, make that person put a quarter in the jar.

Give the money to United Way.

One wrong-number exchange in Spokane: “Hello, is this Transport?” the guy on the phone asked.

No, said the baffled woman who received the call.

“Well, you have Transport,” he insisted.

No, she said, getting interrupted before she could explain that he had reached a residence.

“Well, you must have Transport’s number,” the caller declared.

The woman who got this call finally was able to say she had no idea what he was talking about. But she could tell the caller didn’t believe her.

Name density: “In my fourth period English class, there are four Kimberlys,” wrote Kristin Sampley, who attends Moses Lake High. “Two of them go by Kim, one goes by Kimberly and one goes by Kimalee.”

Redbook’s list of “Jobs that will get you home by 2:30 p.m.”: physical therapist, technical writer, travel agent, fund-raiser, morning talk show host, radiologic technologist, public relations specialist, speech-language pathologist/audiologist, career counselor, personal fitness trainer, dietician/nutritionist, pharmacist, trader (West Coast), systems analyst, medical librarian.

Right. Let’s all become morning talk show hosts. You can take the TV jobs. We’ll take radio.

“Hi. You’re on the air with The Slice.”

“Yes, Paul. I just wanted to say that Debra Wilde makes me….”

Click. “Let’s go to the next call.”

Slice answers: Responses to our question about whether tribal leaders in the West in the 1870s with access to nuclear weapons would have used them were evenly divided between “Yes,” “No” and “That’s the dumbest, most offensive question you’ve ever asked, you pinhead.”

Today’s Slice question: What’s a perfect example of a moment that defines the reality of being single in Spokane? (OK, we’ll put a quarter in the jar.)

A friend suggested that her unhesitating “Sure, why not?” reaction to being offered a Saturday night shift at her workplace qualified.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. For some men, there’s a temptation to make an R-rated remark when the smiley woman in those AT&T; commercials points downward and says “You know what to do.”

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. For some men, there’s a temptation to make an R-rated remark when the smiley woman in those AT&T; commercials points downward and says “You know what to do.”


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