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Did I mention you can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs?

Q. What proportion of the convicts in state penitentiaries were drinking at the times of their crimes?

A. At least 43 percent, probably more, researchers say.

Brandy Brandon, that literary wit who turns old syllables into new words, defines “paucity” as “dogtown,” “propane” as “a masochist,” and “pussyfoot” as “12 inches of cat.”

It has been said few husbands and wives “select” the mates they marry. Marriage, like murder, occurs when motive and opportunity arrive together. If you examine each courtship closely, says our Love and War man, you’ll find some small incident of chance started you toward the altar. What was it?

Most of the world is connected by roads whereon it’s appropriate to drive neither on the left side nor the right side but on the smooth side.

To your list of noteworthy names of boats afloat, add “Sail-aVie.”

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