Know The Signs And Get Involved
If Dante were writing his “Inferno” in modern times, scenes from the Loss marriage would be prominent in his circles of hell. James Loss of Spokane was recently found guilty of the aggravated battery of his wife, Jerri.
Hell, Scene One: The Loss couple is boating on Lake Coeur d’Alene. A daylong argument ends with James kicking Jerri in the nose, beating her with his hands and throwing her down the steps. Sheriff’s deputies find blood-soaked towels, chunks of hair and blood smeared throughout the boat. Doctors must cut open Jerri’s head to relieve pressure on her brain.
Hell, Scene Two: Between James’ arrest and trial, a classic battered-syndrome scenario emerges. Jerri recants her story. She says it was all an accident. Her fault. She said she confessed that evening that she’d killed her baby and wanted to kill herself. She said, “Jim is not guilty and I will fight until my dying breath to get him out!”
One bright note: Jerri’s family, friends and the Kootenai County prosecutors refused to believe her story. (Her baby actually died of sudden infant death syndrome 28 years ago.) They are to be commended for understanding the dance of dysfunction that happens when couples are locked in cycles of abuse and reconciliation. Not buying into the couple’s denial (especially the woman’s) is the only way to stop this hell.
Experts in domestic violence have made great strides in understanding the phenomenon. Experts realize now that women involved are not helpless victims to be coddled. They need psychological help, as much as the men involved. (And some men are beaten by women, too.) Law enforcement, courts and the community are finally getting into the face of women and men who insist on staying locked in abuse.
The police will arrest the batterer, even if the beaten partner recants. The courts will prosecute the batterer, even if the beaten partner recants. Friends, family and co-workers can help by not ignoring or downplaying signs of abuse in those they know.
What are the signs? Some are emotional: One partner isolates, insults, humiliates or threatens the other partner. Some are physical: pinching, choking, kicking, hair pulling, hitting, punching. The Spokane County Domestic Violence Consortium has posters you can place in your community centers, churches and workplaces that list these signs and some phone numbers to call for help. Call the consortium at 487-6783.
Don’t stand for violence in your family, friends or co-workers. Speak up and save others from hell on Earth.
, DataTimes The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Rebecca Nappi/For the editorial board