One Man’s Attempt At Frugal Cooking Was For The Birds

A good friend with a long history of catastrophe stemming from frugalness just returned from kayaking in the Sea of Cortez.

Disaster struck again, but this time it’s not so funny.

Penny-pinching didn’t merely inconvenience his usual male backcountry traveling companions.

This time, it involved his wife.

The trip to Baja was supposed to be a romantic interlude from the rigors of work and raising a child. Just the two of them, paddling hard during the day, then camping and relaxing under the stars on seductively warm and lonesome beaches.

Savvy men would have spared no expense, anticipating the amorous rewards of a bottle of fine wine, a candle, and perhaps a plate of mood-setting hors d’oeuvres for the right occasion.

But not Scott.

He once survived a month of bumming the Alaska bush on a case of macaroni and cheese he bought “for a helluva deal” at a warehouse foods store.

Macaroni no longer makes his camping menu. But he still slobbers for a bargain, at any price.

The latest chapter in a book that begs to be written began in Mexico, where Scott figured he could conveniently and cheaply get the food for the kayak trip of his dreams.

“In the grocery store in La Paz, we found the health food section and bought packets of the wonderful mixed grain dish,” he said.

“Rice, millet, barley. It looked yummy.”

After paddling to an uninhabited island, Scott cooked his vegetarian delight, which his wife could tell at a glance was a one-pot disaster.

None of the grains had been hulled. She opted for granola bars.

“I tried to eat it all, but even I couldn’t hack it,” Scott said. “Some was returned to the sea.”

In a clever attempt to deflect blame from being a tightwad, Scott points out that “my Spanish is poor on a good day.”

The food was clearly labeled, but it wasn’t until he returned home that he made an accurate translation of “Alimentos para pajaros:” Food for birds.

“Oh well,” Scott said. “Still learning.”

Engauging topic: I thought it was a typo at first.

But after poring over numerous maps, it’s become apparent that the sites built to measure water flow in our nation’s streams are routinely misspelled on U.S. Geological Survey topographic maps.

Instead of “gauging” station, the term is spelled “gaging” station.

“Gauge” is a quirk of the English language. The “u”seems misplaced when compared with the long list of rhyming words, such as rage, cage, sage and page.

But “gauge” clearly is the preferred spelling in dictionaries for the name of a measuring instrument.

So I couldn’t resist asking the last time I called the USGS water resources office in Spokane: “Why did the Geological Survey choose to spell the word “gauge” without the ‘u’?” The veteran USGS hydrologist on the line chuckled uneasily at first, then gushed with the obvious answer.

“So we don’t misspell it.”

Trails hoe: Saws, rakes, hoes and plenty of volunteer muscle power are in high demand this year to clear trails obliterated by a wicked winter.

Last week, 24 horse riders, mountain bikers and hikers gathered for a work party at Riverside State Park, where downfall has completely devoured trails in some areas.

Another effort at Riverside is scheduled to begin at 9 a.m., April 20 with workers assembling at the entrance to the Bowl and Pitcher campground.

This is just the beginning. There’s way more trail work than government work crews can handle this year.

Fowl observations: The region continues to be teeming with tundra swans, sandhill cranes, pintails, teal and other migratory birds with an inherent link to water.

Swans and cranes generally just pass through this area. They’re lingering longer this year not so much because the region is so wet. Rather, they’re held up by ice and snow just to the north.

“I suspect they’ll just follow the ice line north,” said Steve Zender, Washington Fish and Wildlife Department biologist in Chewelah. “For now it’s a treat to see them spending a little more time in this area.”

, DataTimes MEMO: You can contact Rich Landers by voice mail at 459-5577, extension 5508.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Rich Landers The Spokesman-Review